No Rest for the Galaxy
by Bamfbugboy
Summary: When Vector Hyllus told me in a cold, chilly cavern on Hoth, "Storybook characters raid pirate bases. Now, so do we." I wanted to tell him that I think we would give those characters a run for their money for the things we have been through.
1. Entry One, Dromund Kaas

_**Author's Note:** Small musings of head canon for my Imperial Agent Nietcha Aurell as she goes about her business in Imperial Intelligence. There will be MANY SPOILERS in regards to the Imperial Agent Questline in SWTOR. You have been warned! This all comes from my tumblr, I just thought I'd put it here, and perhaps expand upon it. Mostly short little musings. May develop into a mixture of entries and actual descriptions of stuff that goes on in game. Enjoy!_

_**Summary**: The life of an Imperial Agent is not easy. You cannot trust anyone. Not even yourself, sometimes. Nietcha Aurell travels the galaxy, starts out as a low ranking agent of Imperial Intelligence to becoming a Cipher Agent, and eventually a force to be reckoned with. The psychological turmoil is almost too much to bear.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>DAY ONE, DROMUND KAAS<strong>

I do not normally write these kinds of things, diaries or journals I mean. Normally I do not have a desire to ridiculously put down my feelings onto anything in particular, especially the silly datapad of all things. Ridiculous. I prefer action, not words.

My _ever_ present companion, whom I have the strangest relationship with, named Kaliyo Djanis is laughing at me as I write this out. _Laughing!_ How dare she mock me! Heh. That woman is always chuckling. Everything is humorous to her. Life, death, chaos, pain, happiness. Nothing escapes her capacity for malicious levity. She is a grenade waiting to explode. It's nearly quite annoying and a bit sickening. I am almost tired of her presence, but as she continually reminds me, she's "making me look good." Hardly.

It is true, she will never read this (even if she sliced my computer, I am a far better slicer than her, yet have secured my datapad). She is borderline insufferable at times. She hates the Empire, she hates the Republic, she hates boundaries!

We are almost exact opposites. I do not appreciate being told what to do, of course, much like her, however I know my place. My place… I am almost afraid to admit that I cannot defy the Sith anymore. Darth Jadus was clearly displeased with my arrogance. He was merciful upon me. I will not defy the Sith anymore. But that does not mean I will support them. I dislike such politics, their wasteful violence, and their insanity. There is no such thing as a "sane Sith." I have never trusted them.

Anyways, I must get some sleep. This is enough for now, as I write this in the Kaas City Nexus Room Cantina. I need some rest. I've just finished dealing with another ridiculous group of people, a cult known as the Revanites, and would prefer to just forget about the entire ordeal with a few more glasses of ardees.

There is still much to be done. There can be no true rest for an Imperial.

Agent Aurell


	2. Entry Two, X70B Phantom

**DAY TWO, X-70B Phantom**

I have left Dromund Kaas, for hopefully a long while. Such a dreary planet, I'll admit. It's either raining or brutally muggy. The humidity is terrible, also. I do hope to not return there for some time. Currently Kaliyo and I are setting course for Balmorra, which is currently a war zone. Sounds delightful, doesn't it? At least I will be away from those petulant Sith, or at least those of the Dark Council, for a short time.

I suppose I should briefly explain. My business is drawing me away from Dromund Kaas, and with it an escape from the petty squabbles between the Sith and the Imperial Intelligence. I _refuse_ to be a plaything of the Sith. But now for the most part, we should be away from that for now. Instead, I am following a series of terrorist cells who function beneath "the Eagle." This terrorist cell destroyed an Imperial star cruiser carrying the Sith I mentioned before, Darth Jadus, as well as several thousand civilians. I am of course more upset about the loss of innocent life. I know for a fact that Darth Jadus is not innocent. Ontop of this, I am now unfortunately serving under Darth Jadus' living daughter (a petulant, annoying little woman who enjoys killing for sport, then again what Sith doesn't?).

Kaliyo is still Kaliyo, unfortunately. I don't execute much authority over her, for there really isn't much to do with that ticking bomb waiting to explode. I'll keep her happy for now. Perhaps let her think that we are partners. I trust no one, and I especially do not trust her. Today in fact she mentioned something about her own personal troubles. I have enough of that already! I don't need someone elses' troubles, on top of my own.

And then there's the new protocol droid, 2V-R8. A gift from Keeper, apparently. I am even suspicious of Keeper. And that bloody, annoying liaison, what's her codename? Oh yeah. Watcher Two. I'm sick of her. Keeper is more bearable, but that Watcher is just… I do not like her. Also so damned serious. Not even a faint smile. Not that I am asking for levity in serious manners, but she needs to work on her people skills! And her hair is _absolutely_ horrendous!

Anyways, my droid has just alerted me that we are to be landing soon in Sobrik.

Cipher Nine out.


	3. Entry Three, Nar Shaddaa Orbit

**DAY TWENTY-SEVEN; NAR SHADDAA ORBIT**

Kaliyo and I have finally left that horrible, horrible planet of Balmorra after about a month's worth of staying on-planet. What a dreadful place. I hope to never return there. I will briefly log for myself what occurred there, with the intention that no one shall ever read this but myself. Kaliyo still does not know my encryption key, thankfully, on my datapad. I am growing to distrust her more and more. Her nastier habits (not that any of them are pleasant to begin with) are beginning to unfold before me.

Anyways, the following occurred:

* We landed on Balmorra and immediately were asked to help with the war efforts there against the resistance. The Balmorran people are in shambles. It is intensely difficult to watch. I have seen brutal sights before, but I will admit that it is the first time in which I have been in… well, in the situation that I currently am in. I will not go into details for now, for the sake of protecting myself and my superior's interests.

* I did what I could to ensure the standings of the Empire on Balmorra remained. The people there had no idea. Speaking of which, however, my objective was to eliminate (or in my case control) the terrorist cell there, whom I infiltrated as a partial double agent. These terrorist cells across the galaxy follow "the Eagle." Said terrorist cells destroyed a starship with the ever-so-friendly Darth Jadus on board. Good riddance, if you ask me. But I will refrain from going into details about my anger and distrust towards the Sith.

* I let an ex-Republic commander live. This commander exposed the Republic's involvement in Balmorra. I almost wish I had killed the poor man. He fought well, such humiliation… it is hard to bear, surely. Regardless, he is in Darth Lachris' dirty hands. Another Sith, this time a governess. I truly am beginning to dislike the temperaments of the Sith. But I know better. For now, I will grin and bear it lest I face another horrendous fate such as before.

* Although we succeeded in securing and destroying the "Gray Star," as well as replacing him, I am afraid… that I am disappointed in the results. As Kaliyo loved laughing at me, I will admit that I possessed fond feelings for the man who took Star's place. His name was Sanju. He was a double agent, much like myself. I know he will do what needs to be done for the Empire. I regret both of our situations.

* Despite working with Darth Lachris and other Imperial officers, the resistance ultimately was crushed. In shambles for now, I suppose I should assert. Those damned fools should wait. They don't know what they're doing. Soon.

Kaliyo and I are now in Hutt space again. I can almost smell the filthiness even up in orbital range. We are making our way to Nar Shaddaa to meet with our contact, a "Watcher X" in order to receive information about the terrorist cell there.

Speaking of distrust, did I also mention that I truly dislike Watcher Two? I probably already have, but every day it seems to grow. Kaliyo's starting to become a better ally. Talk about a weak individual!

Anyways, we are to be landing soon. Or at least that is what 2V-R8 has informed me.

Cipher Nine out.


	4. Entry Four, Nar Shaddaa Promenade

**DAY THIRTY; NAR SHADDAA PROMENADE**

My business on this planet thus far has occurred much more quickly than I immediately expected. Amongst the flurry of gangsters, prostitutes, cybernetic implant junkies, I have found that this planet stirs many memories. Memories that I am not entirely sure I want to bring up, but find that it inevitably occurs regardless of my consent.

I write this in the middle of a busy, public area of Nar Shaddaa, where most of the regulated business occurs. The Hutts are very careful here. There are guards everywhere. But, I am disguised for the moment. A wig and some makeup can do wonders, if you know how to use it. I have sent Kaliyo on some business with the protocol droid. Hopefully she doesn't decide to reenact her last mission for laughs.

Though, I wouldn't be surprised.

I sent her on a simple errand. I told her that I needed biochemical samples for a serum I was / still am working on. The project is to combine the compounds of a truth serum with a paralytic poison. But she comes back from Nar Shaddaa's marketplace having spent all of my credits. You know what she spends it all on? Whether it's cheap ardees, drugs, or paying off gangsters she decided to get into a fight with, I'll never know, but she practically depleted my entire savings of credits, and NOT on what I asked her to spend them on.

I am putting a lot of faith in that Rattataki. But I need someone such as her at this moment and time. Eventually I will get rid of her.

I've heard that Nar Shaddaa is a place where people come to lose themselves for a little while. In my current mission against the terrorist cell, I am investigating an issue involving a drug known as The Cyclone, which enhances physical stamina and strength for a short while until it eventually kills you. Thus far, I have been mostly undercover.

I went so far as to seduce a hermetic man in order to tell me what he knew. Kaliyo nearly blew my cover, however, by stifling her laughs. She thought I wouldn't follow through with it. Watcher X didn't believe a man who relies on the company of unfeeling droids could be seduced. Well I should them _both_. She thinks she knows me so well. If only she knew the half of it.

Yet I suppose, if I will be honest with myself (because frankly I am hardly honest to anyone, I ought to be honest with at least myself), I slept with the man because some part of me missed the comfort of flesh. Perhaps it was not the most _ideal_ situation, but what can you do? I can at least say that the sex was decent. For a man who spends his time inside of his private lounge, away from other living creatures, he performed decently. Although I am far from proud of my actions, they were necessary ultimately.

Watcher X should learn that some things aren't taught by Imperial Intelligence's training. Sometimes you just have to trust your gut, or take a risk. Perhaps he knew that, and was perhaps a little more than intrigued, when he watched on the spiked HoloChannel.

I see Kaliyo and 2V-R8 returning. Off to business again.

Cipher Nine out.


	5. Entry Five Bug Men, Traitors, and Ardees

****Of Bug Men, Traitors, and Ardees ****

**DAY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN, TARIS ORBITAL STATION**

So much has changed in a matter of days. I am writing this with a mixture of feelings. In fact, I am not sure why I am writing this. Normally I write to vent, to release frustration that comes from work. But… but now I write this from a different viewpoint.

Indeed, much as changed.

When I last wrote an entry, I was on my way to Tatooine to combat with a terror cell there. My work with the terror cells in complete, now, but I will briefly entail what occurred in regards to my previous assignment:

* On Tatooine, I tracked an unknown figure known as the "Old Man" with the help of a seemingly defector known as Mia Hawkins. Ultimately, the trial resulted in the woman being merely a puppet of the "Old Man" without her knowing. I let her escape. She is now on the run, I suppose. She wrote me a letter recently, explaining how her freedom is always being comprised. It was her choice. She did help me, and my mission on that sandy planet was completely regardless.

* Speaking of Tatooine, I know have a slight and hideous tan on my face.

* Alderaan… however, is a completely different story within itself. I will get back to it.

* Through a series of traitors and surprises, Watcher Two and I discovered that the previously known to be assassinated Darth Jadus is actually alive. He faked his death in order to procure power by brainwashing other civilians on the Imperial cruiser. We should have known better. I never trusted the Sith, and now I know why my fears are justified.

* I am now on much better terms with Watcher Two, now promoted Keeper (as the prior Keeper himself is now Minister).

Now I will address Alderaan, but in a different light. You see, my contact on this planet is a "Joiner." There is a sentient species on this planet known as the Killiks — essentially, a species of insectoid creatures. A "Joiner" is someone who has spent enough time immersed in the pheromones produced by these creatures and is immersed in whatever nests' culture, its world, and more importantly its hivemind. These "Joiners" speak in first person plural and speak of songs, auras, and other pheromones. The other iconic trait can be found in their eyes: their eyes are black pools. Empty at first.

His name is Vector. Vector Hyllis, an Imperial diplomat. He is tall, tanned, and has black hair. Kaliyo likes to call him "Bug Boy." This man is far from a mere _boy_. He is intelligent, kind, and very gentle. His hive is his family, and he speaks of them fondly. At first it was strange hearing him speak of such things. Almost a little disturbing. To lose one's free will, and instead be controlled by a hive or a nest. Yet he calls it peace or some sort of calm.

He does always seem to be at peace. His voice is soft, almost a little subdued. You can hear the emotion. He can sense things that even I cannot, and I would like to think of myself as having a good awareness of my surroundings. On the ship, he described the first time he ate one of my ration bars. He said he savored the taste for two hours.

_Two hours._

At times I don't know what to think of him. I don't know if I should be intrigued, amazed, or frightened. He follows orders, he speaks softly, and he favors doing the right thing, unlike Kaliyo at times. He understands things that I cannot fathom understanding. I guess I admire him. Yet I wonder how much of the man remains.

I will admit that I have always been fond of bugs. Unlikely for a girl and a woman, normally, but my younger brother and I always loved to collect bugs. I guess I have a really fine addition to my collection, it seems.

It's been a long while since I could freely feel something that isn't related to work or its stresses. For once I feel as if I am beginning to open myself to someone else. Perhaps deep down I am just lonely. He did ask how one could do this job without succumbing to loneliness, of being unable to be oneself.

I continue to ask this question. It's psychologically trying, but thankfully I have Kaliyo to help for that. I've grown fonder of her as well. We've been through so much since Hutta. I admire her in an unexpected fashion. Kaliyo and I often get drinks in the local cantinas and blast our brains out with music, a little dancing, and probably a little flirting with the locals —- or, as Kaliyo likes to rub in my face, with "Bug Boy."

She says, "You want ants in your pants, don't you?"

Maybe I _do_.

Cipher Nine out.


	6. Entry Six, Keyword: Onomatophobia

**Keyword: Onomatophobia**

**DAY ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-TWO, HOTH IMPERIAL BASE CANTINA**

You know how I said that so much had changed in my last entry? I should have caught myself. This time, so much _really_ has changed. Almost everything that I thought I knew or understood is different now. Perhaps I need to learn that change can happen gradually or in an instant. I find it extremely disturbing and frightening.

In my last post, I failed to describe what my new assignment was, or still is I suppose. Keeper (Watcher Two) told me that my mission now revolves around the conflict between the Empire and the Republic. The war. I was asked to become a double agent (almost ironic, really) and infiltrate the SIS in order to gather information about a man named Ardun Kothe, a spymaster of the Republic.

I honestly thought this would be a simple mission, really, given my experience. How wrong I truly was. I was sent to Nar Shaddaa to meet with my new "comrades." Vector and I traveled to the Star Cluster Casino. Vector left me for what felt like only a few minutes, and suddenly everything wasn't the same.

I didn't understand it at first, why this spymaster was saying "keyword: onomatophobia." I was also hearing a voice in my head soon. A voice I recognized. Watcher X. My hallucinations only worsened with time throughout my travels. I still deal with them on a daily basis. The thoughts, the visions, the doubt, and most unbearably, the fear.

I have never felt so scared before. Hardly anything brings me solace these days. I feel as cold and empty as this damned planet. _I don't know who I am anymore. _

They are all worried for me, my comrades. Oh my dear comrades. I cannot even tell them what's wrong. The brainwashing, this horrible, ugly thing inside of me, it prevents me from reaching out to them. Whenever I try, the words fall away from my mouth, fall into nothingness —- nothing but submission.

_Damned be the day I ever let someone brainwash me ever again. _

That someone turned out to be Imperial Intelligence. It is so damned sick and ironic that I can hardly write the words out again. Am I being watched? Can people see me? Who is inside of my head? How did they get such power, those damned SIS agents. Normally I do not venture into the complexities of revenge, normally I do not stew on such feelings… but as Watcher X reminded me, I can still think. Or at least I must continue on with such hope.

It seems ever since Quesh, however, and the application of a new strain of serum into my nervous system… soon, soon, gah! My head hurts so much. Everything's wrong! It was never supposed to be like this! I can't, I won't! I will not succumb to this treachery! When I am free of them, I will make them pay, somehow, someway.

No one deserves this. No one deserves this psychological torment. No one deserves being manipulated like this. I regret my actions towards Watcher X. Even if he is merely a hallucination, a voice in my mind… I know his pain. I know his suffering.

One day. One day soon.

Cipher Nine out.


	7. Entry Seven, Hoth Imperial Base Cantina

**DAY ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY THREE, HOTH IMPERIAL BASE CANTINA**

I failed to mention in my last post why I am staying at the base and not out in the field. Yes, yes, I know my time is precious and it cannot be wasted, but the serum is really beginning to drain my strength and endurance. Doctor Lokin (my latest ally from Taris, did I mention he is half-Rakghoul? I guess that's for another time) suggested that I cannot push myself. He ordered me to stay in the base for a day or so, in order to regain my strength.

It's so unfortunate that my thoughts are primarily focused on this one goal: getting the Starbreeze Shuttle —- no, wait, it's to bring the spymaster into custody —- or is it helping codename Hunter —- damn! It's all blurring together. Everything hurts.

Kaliyo suggested that I need a proper drinking habit. That when the stress gets to you, you drink it all away. If only it were that simple now. I remember the days in which we settled down for a drink or two in Nar Shaddaa's cantina the second evening after our bittersweet victory over Darth Jadus. I remember the days where we talked about our pasts as if they were simply something we could shrug off. I don't know what's mine anymore. I worry that I don't know who I am.

Perhaps I'm also a bit high off of adrenals, while we're at it. What with the combination of stims that the two remaining Hutts of the Three Family's of Quesh and the medicine from Doctor Lokin, I feel like half of my days are spent in a haze. It's dangerous to admit that, for I have a job I need to finish. They all see it. They know something is wrong, but I cannot tell them. I wish so badly that I could.

I wish I could tell Vector, especially. I am displeased, no it's worse than that, angry at myself for being so cold to him at times. Before all this, we were getting along so well. For once I felt that my ambitions, my work, my life even, that it meant something. But now I have a short fuse, my mercy towards my enemies is strained and at times hard to come by, my tolerance of hearing of songs and auras grows weary. The guilt, the lives of those that I have taken, it weighs on me to this very moment.

Despite my fluctuating emotions and the stress, he remains kind and gentle. I am assuming that he thinks that it's the stress, that it's just the job weighing me down. Gosh, if only it were. Yet his presence, though I will admit that both Kaliyo and Doctor Lokin give me some form of comfort as well, his presence the most, is what gets me through the days.

Cipher Nine out.


	8. Entry Eight, Quesh Orbit

**DAY ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTY NINE; QUESH ORBIT**

I have a few moments of spare time as we make our way to the surface of Quesh, again. This time I am here in order to fulfill a mission in which I will have the complete trust of my "comrades." It involves a weapon. Something that Godera, a scientist of Taris, invented. I'll be debriefed soon.

I've slowly been recovering from the brainwashing and the reinjection of serum. The voices in my head have faded and my mood isn't so abrasive. Kaliyo expressed that she liked the angry "me." I find that disturbing, though, she's in luck because there's plenty of anger left in me. Anyways, I am writing this because my thoughts are clearer now. I'm beginning to remember what happened while I was in my haze in better detail. I'm beginning to remember more of Vector's kindness. It explains so much, and by it, I mean the appeal of being a Joiner. Such peace and tranquility astonishes me. He never says harmful words, though he can be very cryptic, and he never acts out of mal intent.

I hate how he has suffered a majority of my stress. I remember one instant so vividly, and I blush at the memory, both out of embarrassment and I suppose joy, too. It was the first time Watcher X manifested himself before me and "spoke" to me, after the worst bout of hallucinations. In this hallucination, I saw those whom I had interacted with, taunting me, begging me to help them, watching me, suspecting me, hurting me. Before I blacked out, Keeper, the old Keeper, shot me in the back with his blaster. And I thought you never died in dreams. Then again, I wasn't sleeping. I woke up from this nightmare surrounded by Doctor Lokin, Kaliyo, and Vector. They asked about my health, what was wrong… even Kaliyo seemed genuinely concerned. I wanted to tell them, wanted to reach out and seek release, but when I tried, I only spoke of Kothe's mission.

I had never felt so defeated and helpless in my life. I could not even trust myself. Eventually, my panic attack subsided, and I told them that it was just stress. The Doctor and Kaliyo left then, of course after Kaliyo made a comment or so about needing to give "bug boy" and "our dear agent" some privacy.

I did not know it at the time, but Vector was the one who found me. The others apparently were away on missions I must have assigned them. He had just returned from a diplomatic conference in regards to making a treaty between the Killiks and the Empire. According to 2V-RB, who was still on board repairing a set of broken wires after our latest space brawl and thus recorded what occurred with accurate precision, Vector carried me into the med wing of the X-70B Phantom. 2V-R8 did some basic health examinations, but left me with Vector while he called for the other two to return. 2V recalls hearing a strange noise that turned out to be Vector singing in Killik to me.

Vector stayed by my side and got me through that period of time until the Doctor returned. Upon learning of this, I'll admit that I nearly started to cry. It was and remains as one of the reasons why I continue to stand through all of this. Anyways, Kaliyo and Lokin left us, and Vector began explaining the outcome of his meeting. He apologized for the fact that he was busy doing work while I suffered from stress. Of course his apologies were not necessary, and as I clearly remember stating to him, "At least we are being productive." He offered to take me to a beautiful planet the next time we were free. He also promised to watch more closely over me.

He doesn't even know my real name, and yet he repeatedly remains loyal and generous. One could argue that Vector is such an honest and honorable man because of his connection to the hive. I both agree and disagree. His qualities are so profound that I know that he exhibited such qualities beforehand. He held my hand as I rested in the medical room. He even stayed and watched over me, at my request. At times I feel like his eyes, those black pools, make him free from judgment. He sees the world in a way that at times I wish I could.

Yet I do wonder what color eyes he had when he was a mere mortal man. We did not speak much, but he did tell me that there was some kind of blue aura around me, almost like electricity, and that my hand, I mentioned before that his senses are heightened, he could feel every crease in the skin. I'll admit only to the safety of my datapad (and stars forbid Kaliyo ever read this) and I blush as I do so, but I remember reaching out and touching his cheek. I think I wanted him to remember its caress, my touch. I was so desperate to reach out to someone.

As I reread this now, at the tail end of my post, I've come to the most obvious conclusion that terrifies me nearly as much as my duties on Quesh: that I love Vector "bug boy" Hyllis.

Cipher Nine out.


	9. Entry Nine, Hutt Space

_**Author's Note: **Alright, so this is where my buffer ends for now. Currently I still need to play through more of Act III in order to finish this up. However, I will be writing little prose bits related to what's going on (head canon of course).__ If you want__ to follow this feed directly from Tumblr, message me and I'll send you my username. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>DAY ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-ONE; HUTT SPACE<strong>

No longer am I a slave to anyone. No longer am I a speechless pawn. I am finally free, at least over my free will. I have duties, yes, duties to which I will fulfill, but no longer am I serving as a puppet of another. I am also no longer a double agent. I serve only myself now. Myself and my crew.

The serum finally came through and wiped clean the old programming imposed by Imperial Intelligence and the fears of the Sith. I am under new "programming" if you could still call it that. When Watcher X asked me what I wanted, I told him that I wanted my free will.

Although no one is truly free in the Empire, at least I do not need to fear the word onomatophobia anymore. The word is ironic.

I will now log for myself what occurred on Quesh. The SIS squad asked that I lower some shields in order for the team to secure the missiles. Ultimately, they were going to "force" me to stay. They betrayed me, ironically. Here I thought I was betraying them.

I did manage, however, to see revenge. Ardun Kothe, the supposed spymaster, was actually a Master Kothe, a jedi. Even Jedi cannot be trusted these days. Despicable. Then again, he was a rogue, stirring up conflict to start the war. I wanted to kill him. To shove my vibroknife into his skull or a blaster shot to the head. But I gave him mercy, something that he did not give me. I realized that I am honorable. Even though someone can manipulate me, brainwash me, and dare control me, I am above that. There are worse methods of punishment than revenge.

But Kothe lied in the grave he dug himself and was killed by turrets, trapped with his precious missiles. I would be lying if despite my sense of honor, I felt some form of justice.

It was done, then. Vector and I were about to head home, to the X-70. We were going to vacation, all of my crew, and most importantly, tell them the truths that I physically could not tell them.

Until I received a HOLOmessage. I'll refrain from describing the strain of curses I said under my breath, and even Vector appeared disappointed. Let's just say things only got worse from there.

One of the other SIS agents, codename "Hunter" called to alert me that an Imperial bombing squad was about to nuke the arsenal. Most importantly, he revealed that he didn't work for Kothe, but instead someone else. Someone else leaked the private Imperial Intelligence keyword. Someone inside Imperial Intelligence is a double agent.

It only seems to be getting worse. You move a few steps forward but it soon feels like you are pushed back twice as far. There truly can be no rest for this galaxy, let alone an Imperial Agent.

We left the arsenal without a moment's notice, and we left Quesh with little words spoken. Things have been rough since then. We are making our way to Dromund Kaas, where Vector will be taking a short leave in order to conduct business with the diplomatic core and the Killik treaty.

It's been tense inside of the ship. Everyone's a little confused. Kaliyo says we waste fuel going back and forth from place to place. They want an explanation. I don't know how to exactly tell them yet.

Perhaps I will get the chance soon.

I'm just an agent now. I work for no one but myself.

Agent Nietcha Aurell


	10. Entry Ten, Belsavis High Security Zone

**DAY ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-EIGHT; BELSAVIS HIGH SECURITY ZONE CAVE**

Oddly, I am writing this post at an unusual hour and in an unusual place. My eyes are open for whatever may be coming my way. I am not afraid of criminals. Even if they are some of the deadliest creatures I have faced. We are all here, or at least Vector, Kaliyo and I. The Doctor and Temple are running another highly important, highly classified fieldwork mission on Alderaan in my place while I complete my mission on Belsavis.

It is a brutal planet full of brutal people. The Republic controls this planet as a high security prison that the Empire is infiltrating. Much could be said about the crimes being comitted here, and I fear that the Empire wishes only to augment the problems already fermenting here. For example, the Republic used their power over the prisoners in order to experiment on the alien species imprisoned here. Although I was sent to help allievate the violence and find those scientists, I fear that the Empire would have done the same thing.

Xenophobia scares me more than a hungry gundark, and it makes me concerned for the growing tension. On Taris I helped prevent the genocide of the Cathar immigrants, but here on Belsavis, even though they are prisoners, it does not justify these ethical crimes.

I see this even more prominently with Vector at my side, and my growing understanding of alien species due to my interactions with Vector's hive brethren.

Sometimes I wonder what I am really standing for, and why I remain a member of the Empire, I suppose it is a consequence of living a previously torn life. My brother would be ashamed, I fear.

Sometimes I look at a jedi knight and I wonder if it is my brother underneath that hood, underneath that orderliness. But I do not know what would I say to him if I ran into him on some far off planet. I would probably apologize for the troubles of the past, but neither of us have been the sort to dwell on the past as a whole.

Perhaps one day we will forgive each other. Until that day, until that moment where one of us is either holding a blade to the throat or a blaster to the head, it is all left in the unknown and to fate, I guess.

Kaliyo is outside the cave doing reconnaissance while Vector is preparing some rations and I am cataloging this and analyzing some data regarding our mysterious security system standing in our way. A blizzard is setting in, though not a blizzard as terrible as a Hoth snowstorm.

I see Kaliyo returning in the faint distance, the shadows from our small fire make her armor shine a noticeable bit. She is a little, well no, she's really mad with me about a couple of things that recently occurred. One, in after receiving my assignment to Belsavis, we stopped at Nar Shaddaa again in order to help one of her old "friends" out of a bad situation. Turns out this "friend" was the person who stranded Kaliyo on Hutta, but they weren't really as acquainted as I was told. The Twi'lek said they only knew each other for six months, not several years.

I was disappointed to hear this, deeply, because I was all for helping Kaliyo's friend, not helping Kaliyo get revenge. Apparently Kaliyo knew that her friend had a bounty on her head, and we would cash in on it. I let the Twi'lek go.

Part of regrets the move, seeing how furious she is. But the woman sounded innocent, and I hate to admit it, but I do not doubt that Kaliyo would sell me out for credits. I am back to not trusting her. Thus, she's stuck with me and Vector, who she rudely continues to call freak or "bug-boy."

The other issue involves a general sense of stress I suppose amongst us all. Temple and Lokin are on Alderaan helping House Thul gain power, as far as I know. I entrusted them with this issue because I knew a fixer and an ensign could handle it. They get along well, those two, despite their immediate differences. Temple seems fascinated in the work of Imperial Intelligence, and she is looking for field help from Lokin and I. I did not want to send Kaliyo on this mission because having her run a diplomatic errand would practically be giving her an opportunity to really cause some chaos (though the planet itself is already a mess, I would say). I am not exactly sure what the issue is this time, but I knew that Lokin and Temple could really get a chance to independently work amongst themselves.

I will have to continue this some other time, I need to tell Vector and Kaliyo more about the situation at hand, and what the plan is for infiltrating the facility. Plus, I ought to stop writing in this thing and get some of the gear out of our packs.

Agent Aurell


	11. Entry Eleven Dromund Kaas, X70B Phantom

_**Author's Note**: Good news everyone! This next chapter will be not a datalog entry, but an actual bit of prose that will coincide with all of this. Bad news, everyone! I'm level 43 and need to be 45 for Voss! So I have to hit up some space combat or flashpoints before I can progress story wise. However, despite this, I do have material planned for my next "prose chapters."_

* * *

><p><strong>DAY TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY-SEVEN; DROMUND KAAS SPACEPORT, X-70B PHANTOM<strong>

My work on Belsavis is finished and I am highly displeased with the results. Little evidence was uncovered as to Hunter's whereabouts, and now I am lugging around another droid who infuriates me more than I can even imagine. SCORPIO. If I could suffocate a droid, I would have done it at least ten times now. What an infuriating creature.

Not much has happened since I went into the deep tombs or prisons or whatever you call them exactly and uncovered a series of individuals trapped within Mega-Security Ward 23, bound by time and trapped forever I suppose. The details don't really matter. Not much matters these days, other than pushing forward to the end.

I have to find Hunter before he finds me. Really, it's only getting more difficult. What with this conspiracy group known as the Star Cabal coming after me, knowing my name, by the stars they somehow know my name. Damnit, how do they know my name! Not even my comrades know my name. Someone is leaking information, and I'll be damned if I let anyone push me into submission.

I know this because as we were about to leave Belsavis' orbital station, we were attacked. This individual was a noble of Alderaan by the family name Cortess, the son specifically. He wanted revenge for "ruining" his family name. It's not _my_ fault his mother entangled herself with terrorist cells. He paid the price.

Stress remains to be exponential, because it grows steadily with each passing day. I don't know how much more of it I can take. People want me dead, and now they know how to find me. I would say that I'm scared, but that's an understatement.

This is a short log, hardly useful for anything other than drabbles of my own head. But my thoughts are hard to keep track of, and I do not know what to say sometimes. It is a mixture of confusion and frustration. But that is nothing new, really. It is just the fact that it appears to be much more constant now.

Vector, Lokin, 2V, and Kaliyo went out to Kaas City to pick up supplies. Earlier in the day, I taught Temple some simple skills, such as changing one's voice and the art of keeping a straight face. It sounds easy, but they are skills that one develops over time. We will work on it again when there is a free chance, and of course, Temple sees what work I do anyways on a daily basis. It's just in these small sessions with her, she is able to really hone in on one skill and perhaps really practice it.

Just a few minutes ago, Temple came by my quarters to alert me that she was going out to get some fresh air and to stretch her legs in the city. I taught all of my comrades the importance of having a low profile, which Lokin and Temple already knew. Vector however has a more difficult time with this since his face is more well known. Temple's lucky because she's been with the Chiss for so long. No one recognizes her.

It's not easy, but it's what we have to do now, even more than before. I think I'm going to try to get some sleep, while I have the chance. Ship's pretty quiet. I feel for the most part safe, thankfully, since I've decided to change the passcode for entering the ship every day or two when we're on planet somewhere. I don't trust anyone. I can't, so I'm a little uneasy because of that, of course.

That's all for now. Since I mentioned sleep, all I can think about is how amazing a nice rest sounds.


	12. Entry Twelve, Dromund Kaas, X70B Phantom

_**Author's Note:** This begins one of perhaps more prose pieces that flow in conjunction to the regular datalog journal entries. This takes place between Belsavis and Voss, though there aren't any gross spoilers in regards to those zones. I hope you enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own SWTOR, I just play it!_

* * *

><p>"Agent."<p>

_No, I don't want to wake up. Let me sleep. Please, let me sleep. Not when I'm finally _

My eyes opened before I even knew what happened. I blinked several times and then exhaled slowly. The dream faded and began to slip from my memory, only seconds after waking up. I turned and saw Vector standing beside my bed, staring down at me with his black eyes. I brushed some white strands of hair out of my face and then rubbed my heavy eyes.

"What's going on, Vector? Are you all back from picking up those supplies?"

"No, we returned early in order to see if our contact, Falner Oeth, has made any progress. You remember him, yes?"

It took me a moment to comprehend what he said, as I still felt off from my heavy rest. My head and neck throbbed, and I wondered if I would ever have a decent sleep again after what was going on in my body, what secrets and lies, what frustration.

"Agent?"

I looked up. I had dazed off and Vector needed to pull me back into semi-consciousness again.

"I'm sorry, I must have slept in an uncomfortable position, I feel more exhausted than refreshed."

His expression was always hard to read, but I did notice the small frown. If I did recognize a response solely based upon his facial features, they usually were always toned down. Before he could reply, I shook my head and added, "No, I'm fine. Just needed a few moments to shake the sleep off of me. How is that going?"

"Our contact unfortunately has not had any success yet. Though, we find that despite the difficulties, we foresee a treaty being created between the colony and the Empire. We understand that these matters take time and cannot be rushed. When an organized meeting is called to order, we will hope to attend, given your support."

"Of course, you can count on my support in all of this, Vector. I'm eager to see the conflict on Alderaan end. It does not benefit neither the Empire nor the colony to not be allies."

"Yes, we agree."

He nodded and took a step back as I pushed my sheets down and slid out of my bed. I ran a hand through my hair just as I saw him quickly turn and look away. I blushed. It was the first time he had seen me something other than my regular leather armor, and instead a simple pale blue night gown. I folded my arms across my chest and in those few moments of awkward silence, we stood there, with his back facing me. Eventually, he broke the silence.

"We, ah, apologize, Agent. We had not realized you were not properly dressed. We will leave you to dress yourself, or continue resting before we leave for Voss. Perhaps more rest will help you, we know you need it." He started walking out of my quarters.

"Wait!" I said without thinking. Somehow in those few seconds, I reached out and touched his hand. He stopped and stood still. It was only a brush of my fingertips, but I could see him visibly tremble.

"You, I mean, we could, since everyone's out, we could I guess I don't know," I could hardly keep track of my thoughts, let alone follow where I was going with this request. I trailed off, and as he turned around to meet my attentions, I felt so startled to realize how vulnerable I appeared. Without the armor, without the disguises, without the lies, without the many masks, I was just a human being, and a woman who wanted to reach out to someone, this man in particular, and grasp at something I had never truly grasped.

"You could stay, Vector," I finally whispered.

I met his gaze and my heart started to thump a little harder when he placed a hand on my hair and slowly let his palm trail over my hair down to my cheek. "Your aura is different."

"What does it look like now?" I asked.

"A faint white or silver, perhaps both. Lately your aura is dark, sometimes blue or solely black, sharp, and jagged. We worry when your aura is like this, for your song is weak and mournful. It is difficult for us to hear." His voice held under-lying emotion, and it was though highly distilled, I knew it was there. The sincerity of his words. "But now we see small sparks on your skin as well as singing electrons. You look like snow. We find it most beautiful, and we wish we could see your aura in this manner more."

I smiled, and I wondered if such a change in my facial expression would somehow change this aura that he always saw around me. His words touched me, and I, speechless and amazed, took a step forward and hesitated before placing my hand on his shoulder. Vector trembled again as a result, and I wished to know what was going on inside of him.

"Thank you for saying that, Vector. That means so much to me."

"We live to serve, and we do care for you," as he spoke, I trailed my palm in a mirrored manner, though instead from his shoulder down to his forearm, then to his side. My fingers trailed over his own robes, until they settled upon his shoulder again. Although he attempted to speak clearly, it was obvious how much my touch affected him. He stuttered and sometimes trailed off. "W-we only wish... to be of service for you, Agent... and we, we ah, we wonder sometimes..."

His fingers moved away from my lips and instead cupped my chin."About what, Vector?"

"About our past, when we were solely human. We have been remembering and investigating proper courting mannerisms," he paused and the hand that remained on my cheek slowly grazed towards my lips and I shuddered. "We know you are unmarried, but we wonder how professional our relationship with you truly is."

"I'm your captain. I can decide how professional our relationship could be, and I think you already know the answer to that."

"We thought so," a faint smile appeared on his face, "we over heard Kaliyo speaking of it to you, though in much more vulgar terms."

"Kaliyo... she, she can be like that sometimes."

"We have seen you do your work, we know you can handle yourself quite well. We worry about your health. We do not entirely understand what occurred on Quesh, but we respect your privacy and we −"

"It's a long story," I interrupted with a shrug. "One day I will tell you. It's just not the time nor the place. Know that we were are doing now, it pertains to that the Empire and the Republic...did to me, before we met. They will try to say horrible things about me. They know my name now, the Star Cabal." I lowered my eyes and my hand slid away. I moved away from his touch, turned, and walked towards my bed again and sat down. My eyes felt heavy again just thinking about the Star Cabal. "And they will use it against me. Someday I will have to set the record straight. Someday I'll have to tell the truth, to someone at least. But for now, know that I serve the Empire, even though I can no longer trust them."

"We understand, Agent."

Even mentioning the Star Cabal, the Empire, and ultimately Imperial Intelligence's betrayal made the weight on my shoulders feel even heavier. I rubbed my eyes again. Vector stood and watched me in silence until a few moments later, he came and sat down beside me.

"You should sleep," he said in a low voice, "please."

Without my defenses, I felt exposed beside him and it was beginning to feel like too much. I clasped and unclasped my hands, which were originally folded in my lap. I glanced several times at Vector beneath my lashes, and I almost laughed out loud. Without the guise, without the motive, interacting with someone I admired so closely seemed so foreign and new for me. Seduction is a trained skill, but sometimes seduction does not always work, and not for what I wanted now. With my new desire for freedom, came my new desire to find myself again, the real person behind the sniper rifle.

"Alright, I'll rest for a few more hours," I stated softly. I reached out and took his right hand and held it in mine. "Will you stay with me?"

"We will always be here for you."

"I mean after all of this, Vector. Will you return to the colony?"

"When we left Alderaan, we made the commitment to become the Dawn Herald and fight alongside you, just as you have stood beside us during our negotiations between the Killiks and the diplomatic service. Since Alderaan, much has happened, and we understand that much more is to come our way. But our purpose is to serve, and our commitment to you is first now. We will always be here for you, if you will allow, even if our business does not pertain to Intelligence."

I gave his hand a small squeeze and I worried I would start to fall apart beside him.

"I've... I've never had anyone say that to me before."

_Can I trust him?_

This question frightened me. Because if I could not trust Vector, genuine, honest Vector, who could I trust in this galaxy? Had Intelligence already destroyed my faith in others? Could I no longer accept that there are some people you _can_ trust? _No, I'm free now. I have to start trusting others._ _There are good people in this world, and the only way I can believe in that, I have to take that first step._

I brought my head into my hands and wanted to scream. The frustration and the anxiety stood as obstacles standing in my path, and it continued to feel like climbing over jagged mountains. I kept falling and scraping a knee, or an elbow, but I would still keep going, so long as this man of the hive continued to stand with me at my side. My hair covered my face from his view, and before I could doubt it any further, I found myself mouthing to myself, "I love you, Vector."

The first time I had ever said, or at least mouthed, those words and actually meant it, and I did not have the courage to outwardly tell him.

"Agent?"

My head moved away from my hands and I nodded. "I've kept you from your business long enough. I'll try and rest now."

"We are not needed elsewhere, we are here for you. Is there anything we can do to help you?"

I took a moment to think on it as I crawled under the sheets again. Once I was settled, I gripped the sheets and looked up at him. "Will you, perhaps... hold me?"

He did not need to be asked twice, for after hearing my request, he removed some of his heavier robes, which revealed the soft cloth shirt and black trousers beneath, and then laid down inside of the sheets beside me. He pulled me into his arms, with one arm beneath my neck and head and the other wrapping over my covered stomach. He was warm, and our combined body heat beneath the sheets contrasted the chill inside of my ship.

"Sleep well, Agent. Know that we will always protect you."

And this time, I drifted to sleep much easier than so many times before.


	13. Entry Thirteen, Defender

_**Author's Note**__: Inspired by the fact that Doc somehow knows Kaliyo, and had an afternoon fling with her. When I discovered this video, I was like, "Ohmygosh this will totally fit with my headcanon!"And thus, this prose piece was created. Follows the current situation of Ibonar Aurell (my Jedi Sentinel, Nietcha's younger brother) and Nietcha Aurell (my agent) as they each separately head for Voss. Unlike my previous parts of this series, this will be told from third person limited, zooming in on Ibonar's side of the story, just for this chapter._

* * *

><p>"Kira? Are you here?" Ibonar called out from the entrance to the Defender. He passed C2-N2 who alerted him that Kira and the others had not returned yet.<p>

"Thanks C2. When Kira comes back, tell her to meet me in my quarters."

"Of course, sir. Will there be anything else?"

"No, that'll be all."

He walked up the stairs and entered his quarters. Everything felt different all of a sudden. He thought he was beyond this. Stronger than to let old demons haunt his past. But now things were different. These revelations both disturbed and made him happy, in a melancholic way. He needed to meditate on it, an act that usually gave him clarity when the answers seemed beyond his reach. He wondered if he could reach his master through the Force.

Ibonar needed to figure this news out before he told Kira. Thus, he sat down in the middle of his quarters, closed his eyes, and let his mind fall still.

* * *

><p>"Ibonar?"<p>

He opened his eyes after a few moments. Seated across from him was Kira, smiling or smirking, sometimes he could not tell the difference.

"I just got back. C2 said you wished to speak with me?"

"I have some things I need to discuss with you, as well as some... I have to tell you some things about me, Kira."

"Oh? Where's this coming from, tough guy?"

He frowned and ran a hand through his brown hair. He looked at the fellow Jedi and then down to his hands.

"I didn't want to come here."

"Do you mean here here? As in the ship, or do you mean Nar Shaddaa? Because if you mean the planet, I think we can both agree it isn't exactly our favorite get-away."

"I know we needed to restock, and Doc wanted to meet an old friend for an update on that Hutt he took care of recently, Nim'ro. He wanted me to meet her, well, protect him I guess, so I went with him."

"Oh yeah? And how'd it go?"

"His friend... She is a Rattataki. She recognized me for some reason just based upon first glance. I've never met her."

"Hm. That's weird. What'd she say?"

"She said, after I asked her a few times, she didn't think it was a big deal, but she said that she had seen a picture of me before. Specifically she said, 'You look like someone I know's brother.'"

"I didn't know you had siblings."

"I try not to think about them." He frowned and rubbed his eyes. After a few moments pause, he stated, "My siblings and I did not get along well."

"Well what else happened with this Rattataki?"

"I asked her who her friend was, what she looked like. Matched one my sister's descriptions, at least what I remember of it. Unfortunately I do not know which sister. My older sisters are twins. This woman said, white hair blue eyes, an exact match. She said she would get in trouble with her friend, my sister, if she said anymore."

"Well how come you didn't Force persuade her to tell you more?"

"Well one, I suppose it would be an abuse of power in this situation, and two, this woman most likely would resist it. She was quite armored for dwelling on the Promenade, I have a feeling she is either a bounty hunter or a business associate with my sister, though I'm not sure which one."

"So your sister, she must live on Nar Shaddaa?"

"No, I don't think so." He paused and looked up at Kira. He reached out and touched her hands. His thumb trailed over the back of her hand, slowly trailing over the pale flesh. "There's a reason I was so understanding of your past, Kira. My sisters are Imperials."

"What? But I thought, that's, well what about you? You aren't Sith!"

"One of my sisters joined the Sith academy while the other to Imperial Intelligence, last I know. I have never seen nor spoken to them since we parted on this same planet."

"So your family is... Sith, then?" Kira narrowed her brows and watched him.

He shook his head. "No. My parents were spaceship mechanics and starship part merchants. Not a drop of Sith in them, as far as I know. Somewhere my family is Force sensitive. But not Sith, as far as I know."

"But why did you become Jedi? How? How did one of your sisters join the Academy?"

"She was different. She did not want to become a Jedi. This Sith who found us manipulated her, changed her. Showed her the dark-side. Told her she could gain infinite power and could crush her foes. Said he sensed much anger in her. I mean, we all were angry and confused. Our parents left us or were killed when we were much younger. I was essentially raised by my sisters on the streets of Nar Shaddaa.

"I did not want to be Sith, and I wanted my freedom and I urged them to run away with me, before it was too late. Yvie wanted to kill me, can you believe that? It sounds absurd, but she felt like this was the best thing that could ever happen to her. An opportunity for power, for 'breaking her chains,' if she became a Sith." He sighed and shook his head. "Nietcha wouldn't leave her, even though she isn't Force sensitive. They had a bond, I guess twins feel that way. She wouldn't leave Yvie, even though she knew it was a bad idea all around. So she didn't come with me.

"I called them traitors. Our parents were citizens of the Republic, not Imperials. Whether they were dead or alive, whether or not they were killed or abandoned us, they were dishonoring their memory. I boarded a smuggler's ship and left the planet. I stayed as a stow-away until I was found by the ship's captain. I gave him all the credits I had, which really wasn't much, and he decided to let me stay until the next Republic spaceport. I was only fifteen."

Kira did not reply, but instead reached out and embraced him. He sighed, his pulse calmed, and held her back. He ran a hand through her auburn hair, and smiled when they parted.

"I knew what pain you had gone through. I know what it's like to have to find your way through the galaxy on your own."

"I... How come you didn't tell me before?"

"I didn't want it to bother me, my past. I wanted to move on from it, and instead be strong because of it. It's better to learn from the past rather than to let it consume you. I assumed my sisters died. But this changes things."

"Did Doc's friend say anymore?"

"No, she didn't."

"Well we should go find them! They could be on the Promenade still."

"But why?"

"Don't you want to know what happened to one of them? Maybe she knows what happened to her other sister!"

"I have a feeling I already know. If my sister survived the Sith trials, then she is strong in the dark-side. My other sister is probably a dog of the Imperial military. I would rather think that they died."

Kira frowned, but shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you need to know what really happened. Maybe it will be good for you. Closure. Everyone needs closure."

Ibonar closed his eyes and searched his feelings. _Do I really want to know?_ he asked himself. He clenched his fists and shrugged. "I guess it can't be any worse than it already is. I guess it's better to at least seek the truth and to confirm the past, rather than speculating."

"Alright, then let's go. You and me. Together. We'll find your sister if she's still here."

Without further discussion, they each stood up and left the Defender in order to head to the Promenade again.

* * *

><p>"What do you know about your sisters, now? Have you kept tabs on them at all?"<p>

"No, I never bothered. I told you, I gave up on them after awhile. I presented myself to the Jedi, and buried myself in studying and training. Kept my mind off of them. Ten years. And then I met you, your master, and the Admiral, and everything went from there."

"I see. Well, back to my first question. What do you know, then?"

"I know that Yvie was definitely falling down the path of the dark-side. The Sith who found us on Nar Shaddaa was taking her to Korriban. Nietcha, however, we had to bargain for her life. The Sith lord who found us wanted to kill her since she wasn't a Force sensitive, but we convinced him that she could be of use elsewhere in the Imperial government."

"So you think Nietcha is either a soldier or perhaps...?"

"There was talking of joining Imperial Intelligence's training on Dromund Kaas. She was pretty smart and had a good memory, since she could remember small details after looking at something after a few seconds glance. She gambled a lot at the casinos and petty back alley pazaak or sabaac games in order to make money for us so that we wouldn't have to steal. Nearly killed her a few times. She had to be careful with how often she won. Gangsters don't like someone winning constantly."

"I definitely know what you mean."

They continued walking across the Promenade, walking amidst the dense crowds and patrons to the Hutt Cartel's businesses and cantinas in search of the Rattataki from before. They tried to not draw attention to themselves, but moved quickly enough through the herds of people in order to catch the woman before she left. Kira suddenly stopped walking as Ibonar surveyed the Lower Promenade's busy gathering area.

"Well what did she look like?"

"Really ugly heavy armor, like murky greens and browns. There was dirt all over her gauntlets. Pale skin, tattooed face, about your height. Had a blaster at her side," he was not paying attention to Kira's behaviors, but jerked his head towards her when she grabbed his arm.

"You mean like her?"

He looked from his companion to where she discretely pointed. He saw the Rattataki in the distance, walking in the opposite direction, and he started to run.

"Hey wait! Ibonar! You can't just −" yelled Kira as she followed after him.


	14. Entry Fourteen, Nar Shaddaa Promenade

**DAY TWO HUNDRED AND FOURTY, NAR SHADDAA LOWER PROMENADE**

Dr. Lokin suggested that I go out of the ship this time, even though I hate Nar Shaddaa with a passion. I hate being here and remembering. Both the distant and more recent past. Kaliyo and Vector are with me. We are on our way to Voss as our most recent lead against the Star Cabal is leading us there.

We are stopping in Nar Shaddaa because Kaliyo wishes to see a friend of hers, hopefully not another "Oh she's really my good friend, blah blah sob story blah blah really just want the bounty blah blah but don't worry we can totally split it blah blah blah."

Of course, that's not _really_ how Kaliyo sounds; it's usually much more vulgar. She refers to her friend as Doc. Says she needs to see this man for personal business she needs to attend to. What business I don't know.

I honestly don't know if it's a good idea- letting Kaliyo out of my sight with information about who I am, what I'm doing, and where I'm going. But she is highly persistent. Says she'll only need to stay for a day or two, which I nearly cannot spare. But I am trying to earn her favor again, and it is difficult. It is sickening, but sometimes I wonder what Kaliyo would be like with the help of IX-Serum. Certainly not the same. But is it wrong to wonder?

Perhaps I'm exaggerating it all and just being paranoid. But Kaliyo has a loud mouth. I've seen her gab and betray. She is dangerous again and I can't trust her, just like she can't trust me. We slowly are rebuilding what we can. She suffered through Belsavis and followed orders with little sarcasm, so I figure a day at best will not be too much. The distance from Voss and Nar Shaddaa isn't too much, I suppose.

They are meeting at the Slippery Slopes Cantina on the Promenade, while Vector and I relax in the Promenade's busy courtyard. I'm just jotting down a few things while Vector stares at the lights and holos as if it's some kind of new world. We're so used to barren lands or frozen planets or dreary Dromund Kaas that city planets such as Nar Shaddaa seem so foreign. He's in a trance, almost. There are sights and smells and tastes he's never experienced, and watching him enjoy each sensation makes me wish I could enjoy this planet like him.

It's only a day. Even if half of Imperial Intelligence is incapacitated by the machinations of the Star Cabal, they still deserve worse, far worse. A day can't hurt them. I'm not controlled by them.

That's all for now. I think I'm going to ask Vector if he wants to walk around the shops with me. Perhaps I can make new memories of this planet with him. Good ones. Perhaps for us both.


	15. Entry Fifteen, Nar Shaddaa Promenade

_**Author's Note**: Oh my! Forgive any typos. I wrote this in a small flurry of thought. Will work them out. A much longer piece than usual, primarily because this is another prose piece! I find that these prose pieces help contextualize the entries, and allow me to go into more detail. Plus, there's obviously dialogue. It's a little less biased, I guess, than just hearing it from the Agent's head herself._

* * *

><p>I am not usually one for public displays of affection, but I chose to hold Vector's hand in the dense crowds. You could disappear on the Promenade, if you so much as desired invisibility (though, it was something almost everyone on Nar Shaddaa ultimately wanted). You could lose yourself and probably all of your credits too, if you were not careful. Sometimes it felt nice to just be another face in the crowd, to just be a patron of the pleasures of living <em>the life<em>, living in splendor in the Hutt Cartel's smuggling moon. Some could call it ignorance, of ignoring the blatant truth: that these pleasures came at the expense of others' freedom and more importantly their lives. The success of the Hutts rode upon the sweat and blood of the Evocii who had lost their home. But some days you just want to escape and not think about it.

He stopped walking and I raised a brow, then stopped as well. I turned and faced him. My lips curled into a smirk and I patted his shoulder with my free hand. We stopped in a less dense part of the Promenade, a small alleyway that connected the Upper Promenade to the taxi speeder port.

"Agent?"

"Yes, Vector?"

"We had never known combat until we were made Dawn Herald, and we joined you and Kaliyo on Alderaan. We knew only defense stratagems and diplomatic dealings in order to prevent offensive struggles. We never imagined becoming anything more than a member of the diplomatic service, though we were happy with simply being that."

"You can continue being a diplomat, you know that. You know that you have my support when it comes to the Killik treaty in particular."

Seeing him smile, even if it was just a small one, made me beam. Making him happy meant that I was doing something right amongst the chaos.

"But working with you, Agent, has taught much to us and the Colony. We thank you for allowing us to accompany you across the galaxy. The experiences with you, Dr. Lokin, Ensign, and even Kaliyo, we will admit, have been quite illuminating. We have learned lessons that our service on Alderaan and elsewhere would have never taught us."

"You know you don't need to thank me, Vector. What we're doing is for the Empire, yes, the good and the bad. I suppose, it's all for keeping as much order as we can in all of this. Maybe you and I, maybe we can stop a war. Maybe we can somehow continue doing what we do best, saving lives and helping others. You know I don't work in Intelligence for the power. You know I do this for the civilians. If the Sith refuse to look out for them, if they wish to treat them as... _playthings_, then somehow, someone has to look out for their interests. I want to continue being that someone."

"We admire your honor."

"I admire your ability to quickly learn new skills."

"Even in our past, we were quick learners. Becoming a member of the diplomatic service taught us the need to be able to quickly adapt and reorganize according to ever changing environments. It was and continues to be a necessary trait. With our joining to the Hive, we believe that we have become more aware of our environment, and as a result, can experience a situation at optimal levels."

"I always knew you were a smart man, but I think I hear a slight hint of an underlying ego."

His lips curled into a small smirk, the smirk that signaled that he understood my humor. "We are proud of our work, both in the service and with you; though watching you, watching you work is an experience that we are continuing to attempt to understand in all aspects."

"I remember my first time in the field, and I mean the real field, which means not Kaas City or the jungles of Dromund Kaas. I mean Hutta. I met Kaliyo on Hutta." I laughed and looked down for a moment, as I recalled the first time I met her. "She used to be worse, trust me. In fact, she told me, 'Hutt perversions get old after awhile. There isn't enough blood being sloshed around here.' Which, they do get old, but not in the same manner where you're numb to what's happening. Old, as in, you wish it would just stop. That was a little over a year ago."

"How do you feel now?" He asked as his other, un-joined hand moved to rest on the small of my back, beneath my black trenchcoat.

"The job always offers new experiences. It..." I frowned for a moment as I thought about my time as a double agent specifically. I then shrugged. "It certainly has its challenges and its successes and its failures, as most jobs do. It will always be a learning process. If I ever say that I'm the master of my work, and that there's nothing more for me to learn, I want you to throw me something new to process, you know what I mean?"

There was a momentary pause, and I noticed that the hand on my back was moving up my spine, over the thin shirt I wore underneath my coat and tucked into my pants. His other hand that still was joined with mine, fell away and came to my cheek. He rubbed my jawline and then before I could say anything further, he leaned in and kissed me in this dirty alleyway. In the faint distance I could hear the never ending sounds of the Promenade, and beyond, the city. It felt far away now, when it was just him and I. Vector kissed me timidly, but as I kissed him back and ran a hand through his dark hair, I realized just how quick of a learner he was.

"You're almost from a whole different world sometimes." I said after we parted. "And you're right. Quick learner indeed."

"We apologize, Agent, but you did technically say the line."

I laughed and his lips moved to my ear.

"We find that holding you is enthralling," he whispered, "It is almost as if we can feel something more, a wholeness in your aura. But there are somethings we cannot see simply in your aura. We can feel every curve and ridge in your hands, every bump in your spine, how warm your lips are. You taste like frost and spices."

"How long do you imagine that you'll be savoring this?"

"We suspect at least five or six hours."

"I dare say I'm not satisfied with that number, Vector. Perhaps we should push that number higher."

I pulled him in again, and felt the non-existent sparks fly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, held him still, with his lips pressed against mine. This kiss, this far more torrid and delightful kiss, made me smirk, and I noticed him smirk along with me. I knew I could get used to this−

"Hey Agent! Bugboy!"

Our heads each turned at the sound of Kaliyo's voice and the footsteps echoing in the alleyway, ending our kiss. Her heavy plastoid armor clinked and made sharp noises as she stalked towards us. She folded her arms across her chest and as she approached us, I noticed the haughty, smug look on her face.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? What did you call it bugface? _Rubbing forearms?_ Yeah, I think that's what you called it. Worried you would freak out the patrons of the Promenade with this weird ritual thing? I'm not surprised. But hey, I guess if I wanted a quick lay with the insect, I would find some dark, dirty corner on this already rotten rock too."

"We weren't, it..." I took a step away from Vector, sighed, and turned to look at Kaliyo. "It wasn't _that_."

"Oh yeah, just an innocent little hook up, that's all this is. Of course. No wonder you were so eager to send me off to meet my friend."

"Well I thought you wouldn't want me following you around!"

"Yeah, Agent, that's right. Last time you met a friend, I lost out on a nice bounty."

"Look, all you need to know is that what Vector and I do in _private_ is our own _private_ business. So _back_ _off_, Kaliyo."

"Will you calm down already? I don't care if you rub forearms or get laid in a dirty alleyway with bugboy. Whatever floats your boat. If you want ants in your pants that's your call. Honestly, you damn well need this already, cripes."

I narrowed my brows and glared at her.

"We don't have time for this, will you just get over your horniness for just a few moments? We have serious business to attend to."

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. I gave her a mocking look, and tilted my head to the side. I knew we would not be getting anywhere if we kept this up. Perhaps it would be best to ignore her comments, for now at least. "Really, Kaliyo? You think so?"

"Let's agree to cut the sarcasm until this blows over."

"And just what needs to blow over?"

She glared, but hesitated. "Turns out my friend is friends with this other guy, and this other guy is following me. Chasing me, actually."

I tried not to sound surprised. "What did you do to provoke him?"

"Uh, nothing! Jeez Agent, don't always assume it's my fault, will ya? I didn't do anything! There I was walking on the Promenade, minding my own business, heading back to the speeder port, when that crazy Jedi must have spot me across the way, just starts yelling for me to wait up, and then starts running after me!" She unfolded her arms and shook her head. "I mean, come on! Who does he think I am? You think I'm just going to let some guy tell me what to do? Of course not! So then I start running, looking for you and bugboy, and this Jedi's a pretty fast guy, even in the dense crowds he finds me and manages to keep on my ass!"

"Kaliyo, Kaliyo, does this story have a point at some point?"

"My friend sold me out!"

"Why is it your 'friends' always sell you out? It must be because of your charms, really."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." She started to pace back and forth in thought. "I mean, come on! I didn't do anything to Doc. We were just old friends meeting up for some drinks and some laughs. Didn't do anything to him! I helped him a lot, you remember? Told you I needed some time off to help him with some disease or whatever that Nem'ro had? And on top of that, I gave him an afternoon or two that I'm sure he'll never forget."

I sighed. "So he's your ex-lover, this Doc, and he knows this Jedi how?"

"Doc had the nerve to bring some other guy with him, this Jedi to our meeting. Jedi Knight Aurell he calls himself, what a prick."

My brows narrowed again and I took a step forward. I grabbed onto Kaliyo's shoulder and forced her to stay still.

"Easy Agent! Watch the armor! I had that protocol droid clean all the blood stains off of it."

"What did you just say?"

She rolled her eyes again. "I said he had the nerve to bring this Jedi with him."

"And the name!"

"Aurell. What's it matter?"

I bit my lip and moved away. Now I was the one pacing. Vector and Kaliyo stared at me in silence as I felt panic wash over me. I ran a hand over my hair and pulled at my roots. This could not be happening. Surely it could not be _him_. I swiveled around on my heel and looked at the Rattataki again.

"What... what did he look like?" I asked.

"Uh, he had one of those ugly brown robes on. Brown beard. Pale skin. Blue or grey eyes. Didn't really care to look. Not my type. You know, was trying to run and all."

"Did he say his first name?"

"No, he didn't. When he found me again on the Promenade, there was another Jedi with him. A woman. Didn't really get a good look at her, but she was calling after him. Think his name started with an 'i' or something. Look, what's this matter? We can just head for the spaceport. We're already near the speeder port. We can grab one and leave. Sooner we get off this dump of a planet the better."

I closed my eyes and started shaking my head again. Without consciously realizing it, I started mumbling the word 'no' over and over, and I would not have come out of my self-induced trance if it were not for Vector.

"Agent," he called out. He placed a hand on my shoulder and shook me a little.

I looked up at him and blinked.

"Is it possible that this Jedi is related to the master from Quesh?"

"No," I blurted out. "This... this isn't at all related to that."

"Are you alright? You began to talk to yourself a moment ago. Do you know this Jedi?"

After hesitating for a few moments, I pulled myself together and shook my head. "No. It doesn't matter, we probably should leave. Whatever this Jedi wants, we aren't going to let him get it."

"Are you sure?" Kaliyo asked. "I'd rather him find us and we can beat him up. Crazy Jedi ruined my chance of getting with Doc again. He found me when I was just about to head over to where we were going to meet for, you know, some forearm rubbing. Now I'm going to have to send Doc a holo, and he'll be all put out because of it−"

"Agent−"

"−And you know just how much I hate apologizing to people. That Jedi doesn't scare me."

"No, Kaliyo. We have to get going. You can let your ex-lover squabbles sit aside for a moment. This is bigger than a one night fling−"

"One night fling! You sure can talk! What gives you the right to judge a one night fling! I bet I've had better sex in those one night flings then you'll ever get with bugboy here!"

"Agent−"

"Not now Vector," I interrupted again as I glared at Kaliyo. "We weren't about to do that! Just let it drop! This is serious! This isn't a time for revenge!"

"Agent, please."

Suddenly Kaliyo started to laugh, which eventually became a little more maniacal than I had expected from this sort of situation. "Yeah, Agent," she said between chuckles, "listen to bugface."

I sighed and looked at Vector, who frowned and pointed to something behind me.

"We have company, we're afraid. Behind you."

I turned and saw the Jedi Kaliyo had described. I wanted to grab Kaliyo and Vector's arms and drag them off in an attempt to make a run for it. But even though this Jedi was bent over with his hands on his knees, panting, I knew he could still keep up with me. A woman wearing a similar garb of brown robes trailed just behind him. Both of their hoods were down. The male's hair was brown, short, and a little frazzled from the run. He carried two hilts, one at each of his sides. The female's auburn hair was short as well, but curved around her face in a similar manner as I. There was only one hilt of a lightsaber at her side. The female Jedi took a moment to catch her breath, and she said something to him that none of us could hear from where we stood.

It simply could not be _him_. This was a trap, and I knew it. It had to be. With my personal information floating around because of the Star Cabal, it could be anyone. It could not be him.

"Can I help you, Jedi? Is there a reason why you are following my companion?"

He caught my eyes and he held them without so much as a blink. His brows were narrowed, and I knew that he was angry.

"Yeah, I think you can. Don't try to pretend like you don't know me."

"I'm afraid I've never met you."

"Do you want me to use your name, your _real_ name, to prove that I know you? Because I can. I don't think you want that, given your position in Imperial Intelligence, but you know I will." He paused and his expression softened. "I just want to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

I knew better than to play into a mind game. I refused to let him intimidate me. I would not let this happen again.

"You know there's plenty." He smirked, and I wanted to wipe it off of his face. "Obviously you don't know me that well."

"It doesn't matter if you happen to think you know who I am, and my 'real' name, but you can't manipulate me. Whatever name you think you know, it's a fake."

"That's funny, because being your _brother_, you would think I would know your real name. Your only real name."

I refused to falter.

"I don't know what you're talking about, _Jedi_."

"N."

"It doesn't matter, go ahead."

"I."

I glared and folded my arms.

"E."

"You know three letters, great."

"T."

He was really going to do it. He really knew it. I clenched my fists.

"You know that I know the rest."

I growled and gestured for him to stop. I yelled out, "Fine! I'll talk. Just tell me what my brother's name is, if you really are him."

"You know it's me. Ibonar."

"And your nickname?"

"Iven."

"How did you find me?"

He pointed at Kaliyo and I sighed with exasperation. _Of course she ratted me out. _"Your partner, the Rattataki, sure talks."

"I didn't say a thing! All I told Doc was that his friend looked like someone I know's brother. I never said you, Agent."

"She's telling the truth. I didn't expect it to be you. I was expecting _Yvie_, not you."

"Sorry to disappoint," I spat out.

"I'm not disappointed at all."

"Well what do you want? You've chased me down and we were just leaving."

"I said I wanted to talk."

I almost could not believe what he was saying. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Oh, so now you want to talk. Well too bad, there's nothing to talk about. I don't know Yvie's whereabouts, so you're just going to have to keep looking for her on your own. Your little vendetta is no longer my problem. I have my own problems to worry about."

"You mean like being a military dog for Imperial Intelligence? That must be difficult. How many identities have you racked up, how many have you stolen? How long did it take for them to dehumanize you?"

I refused to play into this game.

"How many resistance movements have you put down for your little Sith overlords, huh?"

I felt a little relieved to see Vector beat me to a retort.

"We suggest that you stop, Jedi. We are not obligated to stand and watch you slander our Agent. As Dawn Herald of the Oroboro Hive, we will result to force if necessary."

"Yeah, Jedi. I would be pretty scared of bugboy, if I were you."

"You're with a Joiner?" Ibonar asked with a raised brow.

"Who I'm with doesn't concern you."

"Actually it does. I'm looking for Yvie."

"Iven, you know I wouldn't tell you where she is, even if I did know, which I don't."

"Did she become Sith?"

"Of course she did."

My brother frowned and he sighed.

"I guess I would have known if the academy killed her several years ago."

"And she's not on Nar Shaddaa."

"You're looking for her?"

"Not formally." I reached up and rubbed my eyes. I hated discussing Yvie. I hated it ten years ago, and I really hated it now. "You really want to find her, don't you?"

"She can still be redeemed."

"Yeah right. Did your Order tell you that?"

"I don't need the Order to tell me what to do. I follow the Code, but I know when to use my own judgment. My Master taught me that. I know she's still good. I may have doubted her in the beginning, but now I know. I have already brought a Sith to the Light once. I can do it again."

"You think it's so simple, don't you? That you can just expect a Sith to lower their saber and jump with glee at the idea of joining the Light? Is that what you really think? Who is deluding you?"

"Look, I know you're the plaything of the Sith, but I can and will save her."

I reached for my sniper rifle strapped onto my back. It came forward with ease and I held it in my hands. My trigger finger hovered in place, ready to put some action into my defense.

"Don't you _dare_ call me a plaything of the Sith, Iven. I _refuse_ to be a slave to them." I scowled and was astounded at my brother's attitude. "By the stars! It's been ten years and you still think I am the bad guy in all of this!" I shook my head and laughed out of spite. "You know why I joined Imperial Intelligence? You know why I chose the Empire? You really want to know? It's because I couldn't let her go alone. I was so damned idiotic to think that I could keep Yvie grounded, that I could prevent the Sith from changing her. Because you and I both thought that she was our sister, regardless. Even though you left Nar Shaddaa hating her and I, you deluded yourself into thinking that one day you would become a Jedi Knight and you would free her.

"I deluded myself just as much as you! What a cruel fantasy it all was! I joined Intelligence because it was the only way I could keep track of her, and maybe, just maybe, I would know that she was still my sister, still my twin."

My patience wore thin, and I gritted my teeth. I held onto my rifle tightly, as if it gave me some form of comfort.

" You can't save her," I continued. "She's a lost cause. You still don't understand. She didn't want us following her around. She's a lost cause, oh, but no, we didn't believe that at first. You still are deluded, but I know better now. I've seen Yvie, Iven. I've seen her. She nearly tried to kill me. And do you know why? She said that the Sith taught her to rid the galaxy of the weak, that the universe isn't suited for the weak, it's made for the strong. That you and I, we're weak. You for wanting to join the Jedi Order and me for not being Sith. She said I had dirty blood. Yeah, she said that before she saw just how red my blood is, after she wounded me with her vibro-blade on Dromund Kaas.

"So go on! Keep looking for _her_. Just know that you will be doing it on your own. I have my own problems. I don't need hers anymore. She's dug her grave, and she'll lie in it. Of course, it's most likely more of a mass grave, knowing how much blood she's spilled. So go on, if you see her first, try and save her. Try and turn her to the Light. It doesn't take away the fact that she's killed plenty of innocents. Republic and Imperial. Her master is twisted, and he's made her twisted in his image. So go ahead. But if I find her first, know that when you eventually find her, there's going to be rifle shots in her head, because I'm going to put her down like the rabid animal she became."

_So much for apologizing to each other about the past_, I told myself.

I was about to turn around and pull Vector and Kaliyo with me, who watched the exchange between my brother and I in silence, when my brother stopped me.

"You really haven't changed, then, have you?" Relief spread across his face. "You're still the same."

I sighed. My grip loosened on my rifle and I slung it back over my shoulder again. "Everyone changes, Iven. You can't help it. You just have to hope you changed for the better and that you learned enough from the past so that you can move on from it."

My brother walked towards me and before I knew it, he hugged me and said, "I'm sorry."

My hands stayed at my sides, awkwardly hanging. I turned and saw Kaliyo smirking. I glared at her and then patted my brother's shoulders.

"Look, it's... it's fine." I knew that it was most certainly not all fine, but I wanted this to end. This was not going how I had always imagined it. "We've all got our own path to follow."

He pulled away and half-heartedly smiled. He turned and gestured for the female Jedi to come towards us. The woman hesitated, but decided to join us. "This is Kira, my padawan, but recently promoted to be a Jedi Knight of the Order. The friend Kaliyo met earlier was my ship's medic, Doc."

"Yes, one of her ex-lovers."

"_Oh Agent_, stop, you're making me blush, "Kaliyo added.

I turned towards Kira. "I apologize for this mess my brother has dragged you into. It's all a long story. One that perhaps he should tell you sometime in private."

"Private? Uh," I noticed her blush, though it was faint. "Yeah, I guess sometime he will have to."

"You already pointed out that my other companion is a Joiner. Vector Hyllus of the Imperial Diplomatic Service, but specifically, my comrade at arms."

"Oh, my Agent and bugboy are more than 'just comrades', really." Kaliyo interrupted with a smirk.

"Don't listen to _her_," I retorted. "Kaliyo Djannis is a habitual liar and a headhunter."

I did not want to admit it, but seeing my brother, seeing him with someone else, it made me happy. The flush from the ex-padawan was clear enough. At least somewhere in the galaxy, my brother was doing alright, somehow, someway.

At first, meeting my brother in the alleyway of Nar Shaddaa's promenade seemed horrendous and potentially dangerous. But it was a different kind of closure that I did not imagine to be possible from such a jagged situation, where the broken pieces were once scattered.

If anything at all, it was one less thing to worry about.

* * *

><p>"So let's see. N. I. E. T. <em>Niet<em>," Kaliyo pondered aloud. She leaned over to Vector who looked back at her with mild discomfort. "Got any ideas, bugboy? I know you're itching to know her name. I mean, what are you supposed cry out when you're fucking her in bed? Unless calling her Agent turns her on. Then, of course, that's a different story altogether."

"We... we respect our Agent's privacy. _I_−_We_ don't wish to intrude upon her."

"Kaliyo," I called over my shoulder with a groan. "Just leave him alone."

"Oh come on, Agent. How come the galaxy gets to know your name, but we don't get to know it?"

"Why don't you go ask the galaxy?"

"Easier said than done."

"I'm sure if you really want to know it, you'll take the initiative. And quit calling him names. I still have my loaded rifle, which I'm not afraid to use. And of course, there's Vector. I have been meaning to teach him a few new close-combat strikes. Perhaps we can use you as a practice dummy."

"Oh Agent, that's cute and all, but you and bugboy don't scare me."

"I know. But _Lokin_ does."

"Well yeah, because he's a rakghoul. Bugface is just a Killik freak."

"I would be careful, Kaliyo. Vector and the doctor are close friends."

And that was the moment in which Kaliyo learned to stop calling Vector anything other than his name.


	16. Entry Sixteen, Voss, BasTon's Teahouse

**DAY TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-NINE; VOSS-KA TEAHOUSE OF BAS-TON**

We are all on Voss now, excluding 2V of course, who is conducting some research for me on the other side of Voss-Ka with some other on-planet Imperial scientists. We are on a planet that perhaps one time stood as a beacon of beauty and spirituality in Hutt Space. Now it is a planet struggling to maintain neutrality. My business is not with those politics, however. Matters are much more serious now. Exponential growth, as always.

Instead, I am partially undercover as an "old friend" of my contact, an old agent biochemically turned Voss to maintain his cover. His name was Bas-Ton. I never managed to learn his real name. I could count on my fingers the number of people whose real names I knew.

After leaving Dromund Kaas and an incapacitated Imperial Intelligence, the ways of the Voss are startling upon first experience. It is so simplistic, so rooted in dreams and tranquility that at times I little idea how to respond at times to their gestures. The Voss are a people to behold. I have never looked at another species in this manner. I almost want to leave the planet because I feel like I am corrupting it just be standing amongst its people. The outsiders bring new worries upon them. I can only imagine the stress they face.

Upon walking through the city for the first time, Vector perked up and in perhaps one of the most expressive manners I have ever seen from him, asked if "we could explore the city." He and Doctor Lokin left Kaliyo, Temple, and I to find the teahouse then.

Speaking of Kaliyo and Temple, I have taken the opportunity to teach more protocol and subterfuge techniques to Ensign Temple. We do not call each other yet by some semblance of casual respect. She still calls me Sir, while I call her Ensign. It is not the fact that we have not grown close since Hoth, it is the fact that she is so very used to strict professionalism even under new circumstances. She is a willing and excited student. She finds undercover work to be a fascinating challenge. I frequently remind her to always be wary, despite being a Force Sensitive and knowing more clearly when others are lying. It is an advantage that she cannot always rely upon.

"One day you will be up against a Sith or a Jedi who is much stronger in the Force than you. You have to be able to resist their mind games and read them. There will always be someone out there who is more prepared than you, even if you think you are beyond prepared."

It reminds me of my first few years in Imperial Intelligence, when I was learning the same basic tactics inside the citadel and waiting to begin my work in the field.

In turn for all of this training, she tells me about the Chiss and about her family. It is strange hearing of her family. She is not fond of her lineage, though I do not know anyone who truly is. It is decent conversation nonetheless.

Kaliyo insists on teaching her seduction by using the unsuspecting, chaste Voss as test subjects for her little experiments. I do not care for what Kaliyo does in her personal time, so long as it does not tamper with the mission or ruin its chance for success or expose anything that may danger the others. I told Ensign to not let her out of her sight. Ensign appreciated a chance to stake-out someone's movements. It will be good practice for her, especially since I did not exactly mention how difficult it can be to track Kaliyo's movements. Kaliyo knows better than to let someone follow her around, especially in a place like Voss-Ka.

Speaking of the mission, we are tracking a so-called "Shining Man," a false prophet, a fraud who serves the Star Cabal conspirators − the invisible enemy. Slowly our leads are getting us closer. We have been to the Wellspring, the Shrine of Healing, where the Voss come to exercise their spirituality by speaking with mystics and healers and interpreters who offer guidance to the Voss. The "Shining Man" came to the shrine and received a vision relating to some prophecy that apparantly I am to fill as well.

I do not exactly know, but what I did experience astounded me. The mystic, Amin-Le showed me my recent past and spoke of my future, all of which was recorded in a "vitalicron". It was difficult to watch without cringing or wanting to look away. But I watched it. She called me a tree, with the roots being my past, and the universe my soil. She said the tree was sick. A uniform that became a mask. A season of fire, I stamped out a spark by could not be free of darkness − Darth Jadus. And then a season of famine, in which she described my time as a double agent, the time in which I was mostly alone. And now I walk in the season of mists, which mostly explained itself. The invisible enemy. Though the future seemed... well, as most futures do. Obscured by good and bad. I simply hope the good moments push me through the bad.

Two days ago a bounty hunter kidnapped and killed Bas-Ton. This bounty hunter served Fa'athra the Hutt. The slime of a Hutt was still angry about Hutta and my business with Nem'ro. I guess I should not have been surprised to realize how easily grudges can be held for a long time. He killed my strongest ally on Voss, and thus, I killed him in turn. He had it coming and I felt no regrets for it. Kaliyo was pleased. She never liked that Hutt any more than I did.

Bas-Ton was my only means of accessing me to these sacred tablets that would further push me towards finding more information about the whereabouts of the "Shining Man" fraud. With this talk of a prophecy, and my involvement in this so-called prophecy is helping me earn the favor and trust of the Voss. The only way I can see those tablets is if I become Voss. I have to marry Bas-Ton's son, Phi-Ton.

Certainly never expected for this to happen.


	17. Entry Seventeen, Voss

_**Author's Note**__: SPOILERS FOR ACT III VOSS MISSION FOR THE IMPERIAL AGENT! Even though this whole thing is full of spoilers, read ahead carefully. This is my take on the marriage that occurs for the IA during this mission. Some of its changed for smoothness and just because I can, though the general premise is the same for the most part. I sort of combined a few conversations (including romance ones) into one big bit of headcanon._

* * *

><p>I held my head in my hands and I wanted to scream. I sat on the edge of a small bed, and repeated the situation over and over to myself. Marry the Voss, Phi-Ton, and receive the information needed in order to gain access to the sacred carvings hidden within the Nightmare Lands. I knew that it was supposed to be a simple task; yet I wanted to take my rifle out into the field and shoot up a few trees for target practice, to combat my frustration. It was beginning to become personal.<p>

_Marriage_, I thought to myself while pulling at my hair. _It's not even life-threatening and I'm making a fuss over it. It's just some words. Words mean nothing to me. It's all just a ruse, anyways. It's not real, none of its real. What's the point?_

There was little time to debate the matter. The point, I knew, was to fulfill my commitment to Imperial Intelligence and be rid of the threats against my life and those I worked with. The point was that no matter how much I hated the situation, I could not keep running forever.

I looked up and saw through the slit of the doorway, Vector standing and talking with the other family members of Bas-Ton as they waited for me to be finished cleaning up in order to be dressed in the appropriate ceremonial Voss garb. My chest hurt, and I knew that it was not from the many Vorantikus I dealt with earlier and the resulting wounds.

_This wasn't how it was supposed to be, it wasn't supposed to be like this. _

I noticed his head turn slightly, and his glance fell upon me. I frowned and after a moment, his head turned away again.

_Every bond you make saps your strength as an individual._

Damn that droid, SCORPIO. I did not want to think like that. I was not a Jedi. I could form attachments (of course, it appeared that not even the Jedi always followed their own doctrine, given my brother's relationship with his padawan). But every step forward, SCORPIO's words echoed in my mind. I could not let the droid get to me.

The discussion with myself ended and I called for Phi-Ton's sister, Yana-Ton, to come in. The female Voss soon entered and closed the door behind her fully. She carried in her hands what appeared to be a jar of what appeared to be a light blue dust and the robes.

"This is the best we will be able to do. This is very sudden, though we wish for this to be as formal as possible, given the circumstances. My family and I hope you understand."

"Of course, please, you are the ones helping me and my comrades."

"You make Phi-Ton smile." She abruptly stated. She lowered her gaze and bowed her head in apology. "This jar is full of a sacred grain that we use to make ceremonial markings on the body. We add a little water and it thickens into a paste which will adhere to your skin. Normally the mystics perform this ritual, but we understand that time is short. "

The rituals of the Voss fascinated me, though surely not to the same extent as they fascinated and intrigued Vector. Although I did not immediately wish to expose myself to Phi-Ton's sister in this manner, for a wedding of all things, I knew it would be a necessary evil.

"Just lay down and I will begin to draw the markings."

I nodded and laid back. She placed the items onto the bed in order to retrieve a bowl of water. Once she returned, I closed my eyes and let her begin without any further words spoken.

* * *

><p>"Kaliyo, do you think she is doing the right thing?"<p>

"Look, my Agent knows what she's getting into. Don't worry about her. She does this sort of stuff all the time. Well, she usually skips the getting married part and jumps straight to the sex."

"And she's okay with this?"

"I don't know. I never asked." Kaliyo shrugged. "There was one time on Nar Shaddaa in which she needed to extract some information from this creepy loner guy who lived with droids and owned a casino. She flirted with him, and he responded well to it for a guy who wasn't used to women hanging on him. I don't know. Maybe he knew how to rub one out with a droid's HOLOprojector or something, but he wanted to try the real thing."

"Too much information!" Ensign shrieked out with a face that made the Rattataki sitting next to her laugh.

Kaliyo folded her legs and smirked. They sat together in the conjoined, adjacent room waiting for the female Voss to finish preparing their agent, their leader, for the ceremonial wedding.

"Do you think she really wants this?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Well, think about it," Temple stated with an eye-roll. She disliked Kaliyo's vulgarity, but she wanted to know more about the agent from the observations of her fellow comrades. "Doesn't she get tired of it? You can't fake love. It isn't right."

"Who said anything about love?"

"She's marrying someone! You said she's never done this before for the job. This is different now, isn't it? There's more to it than just a job."

"I don't think you get the point of this."

"It's just a part of the plan, I understand that, but doesn't she wish she didn't have to do this?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask her." Kaliyo scoffed and folded her arms across her chest.

"You know her better than the rest of us. I just want to understand her better."

"Look, if you want to know something specific about her, just ask me a damn question already. Quit walking around it."

"It's just hard to imagine someone marrying someone else and not really meaning it. I can understand casual relations for the purpose of extracting information, since it's just a temporary dealing, but doesn't this seem a bit... a bit more serious? More like a commitment?"

"You heard that guy. If she wants to see the tablets, she thinks she has to follow their customs. Once this mission's over, she'll forget all about this planet and its people like we always do. It just happens. New priorities and all. If it were me in her position, I would have just pointed my blaster to the uncle's head and demanded to see the tablets or carvings or whatever. "

"Why isn't she doing that, then?"

"Because apparently honor means something to her."

"Well shouldn't it mean something always?"

"Yeah, I guess, if all you want to do is save a few lives at the risk of more lives. I don't care about honor. Honor's just something that gets in the way. You can't earn credits with honor. Honor isn't a currency." Kaliyo paused. "It's either go in blasters blazing or don't go in at all."

"Have you always been so reckless?"

"Agent's toned me down a bit, can't cut heads when I'm around her, you know?"

Silence fell upon them as they waited. Temple drummed her hands on her arm rest while Kaliyo tried to not be bothered by the other woman's behavior.

Temple soon broke the silence. "Have you ever been in love, Kaliyo?"

"That's an odd question and it's none of your business."

"You said you have experience in seduction. You made me watch you flirt with that Voss in the cantina when we first arrived here. You got him so drunk. I had never seen someone so drunk before."

"Experience always helps when it comes to seduction. Otherwise you look like an anxious wreck. My Agent used to be like that. You should have seen her on Hutta." Kaliyo started laughing hard. It took her several moments for her to regain the ability to talk. "Cripes, she was bad at flirting back then. She was posing as some big shot bounty hunter named the Red Blade. Turns out someone in Nem'ro's palace at the time knew this Red Blade. Knew that _he_ wasn't a _she_. So Agent tried to bargain her way out of a confrontation with this Zabrak by badly flirting. He fell for it at first, but then he wanted to go back to his room, to see how committed she was to her story, but she freaked out and made the mistake of exposing her cover. This was back when she really had honor. And I mean drenched in it. So naive and innocent."

"What happened? Did he tell someone else? Did her cover break?"

"Agent actually surprised me." Kaliyo shrugged. "She killed the guy in order to maintain her cover. Guess it was the first time she'd used her gun on someone living."

"Wow."

"Of course, she gotten better with flirting over time. I helped her a bit, showed her a few videos off the HOLOnet. You should have seen Agent's face turn redder than Sith blood the first time. She was so embarrassed on the way to Dromund Kaas. But hey, she wouldn't let me show her how to have good sex the real way, so she opted for the videos. She'll never thank me or admit it, but those videos helped her out. If she didn't know how to seduce and manipulate a man or a woman in and out of bed, she'd probably still be on Nar Shaddaa, trying to get information about that Cyclone drug."

Temple blushed. Kaliyo was always so forward when it came to sex that it made the shy human uncomfortable. She could not look at the Rattataki in the face without wondering about the other woman's exploits.

"I should have known you were as green as my Agent was back then. Training you is going to be fun."

"Oh, be quiet."

Kaliyo smirked and chuckled at the human's bit of sass.

"I'll tell you though, I went to a wedding once. I wore a black dress, heels, the whole get up. Groom looked fantastic, but I looked better."

"You were about to get married?"

"Of course not. I slipped on that ring and ran before I made any promises I definitely wasn't going to keep."

Temple raised a skeptical brow.

"What?" Kaliyo chuckled again. "Just trying to share. You asked, afterall, Ensign."

There was a long, steady pause after they shared another laugh. Temple shrugged and then stated, "I think she likes Vector."

"Really? What makes you think _that?_"

"Don't be sarcastic. I'm serious. They seem to share something. Something special."

"Oh, don't get all sentimental on me."

"I'm serious! You joke around with both of them. Didn't you catch them kissing once?"

"Ensign," she paused and her lips curled into an even more knowing grin. "I've caught them kissing several times."

"Do you follow them around?"

"No. I know when to turn my head."

"So then she really does like him!"

"Of course she does," Kaliyo turned her head and scanned the area. "She has a soft spot for bugboy."

Temple frowned. "How tragic that she must marry Phi-Ton."

"She wouldn't let her feelings stop her from doing what was necessary. She never has."

"But she doesn't like Phi-Ton!"

"Cripes, Ensign! Did you _really_ just come back to this? You know she has to do it."

The human sighed and shook her head. "I don't know. It's unfortunate."

"Yeah, well, what isn't in life."

* * *

><p>The gratuitous actions of Bas-Ton's family helped me in more ways than I could imagine while on Voss. Their understanding and hospitality of myself and my companions moved me, which explained my difficulty in progressing through this entire ritual without remorse. I was taking away a man's decision to choose whom he married. Although Phi-Ton and his family did not express this sentiment, I knew that it was an unexpressed feeling that was oppressed for the sake of preventing rudeness. He was becoming Voss based upon a lie and for matters that pertained to outsiders; it felt wrong.<p>

On another note, this arrangement was one of the rare moments in which I felt like a woman, just a woman, and not an agent, or a Cipher, a sniper, or a woman who's identity never remained constant. For one, I wore a finely crafted white gown with blue and gold patterns embroidered into the main bodice's material. The markings on my body wrapped all around my skin in small swirls and loops. One of the most prominent markings looped from the base of my neck up to my temple. It did not feel painted on, but instead felt comfortable and like a second skin. It was a strange, innocuous sensation in such an awkward situation pressed with an underlying sense of urgency.

The other Voss men, Vector, and Doctor Lokin left the teahouse earlier, and Kaliyo, Temple, Yana-Ton, and I, were now just arriving. I had never been to a wedding before, or anything resembling one, so the entire experience itself was one I knew I would never forget. On our way to the shrine of the Sacred Flame of Voss-Ka, some Voss bowed their heads and offered blessings, to which I could only smile and bow my head in thanks. One woman offered me flowers. Of course, there were other Voss who spoke out against an outsider becoming Voss. It did not surprise me given the struggles between the outsiders, Republic and Imperial officials, and the Voss people.

Ensign and Kaliyo remained quiet and watchful over me. I knew they shared a conversation while Yana-Ton prepared me for the ceremony earlier today. What they discussed, I did not know, but I did hear laughing once. Their voices were too quiet for me to have understood their conversation.

I found that I was more nervous than I initially anticipated. I memorized the appropriate vows with ease, and I knew that the entire ritual would mostly be spiritual. I knew that the ache in my chest was from the fact that this would probably be the only marriage ceremony I would ever take part in, and on top of that, I could not even be myself wholly. It was a ruse, just a necessary requirement to getting the job done and finished with, much like situations similar to this one. I knew that ultimately Voss would soon be thousands of parsecs behind me and this marriage would be just a small moment on a larger timeline and stream of events.

We walked into the shrine. Phi-Ton himself stood talking to his uncle, Therod-Ton. Vector stood before the alter and the small chalice where the fire burned eternally, with his hands clasped behind his back. Doctor Lokin leaned against the back wall, close to the doorway. He turned his head and nodded. I would not have been surprised if he could relate to my current situation. Kaliyo and Temple joined him at the back of the shrine.

Yana-Ton and I approached the group and Therod-Ton and his nephew turned around. They bowed and we bowed in turn. I looked towards Vector who turned a moment later, bowed, and offered an extra nod. It was difficult to read his expression, though his gaze remained fixed on me, even as I quickly turned my head away in order to conceal a frown. When I looked up again, he was standing away from the others, alone, with the same stoic face.

_I'm marrying the wrong man_, I thought to myself as an sharp ache shot through my chest again. _And I will never be able to marry him_.

Time was running out, so without a further moment's pause, the ceremony began.

* * *

><p>"You, who have no family, come to join the family of Niya-Ton, who birthed Zhi-Ton under the Prophecy of Ten Thousand Seeds," Phi-Ton recited flawlessly.<p>

I stood before him, his family, the alter, and my comrades while holding the flowers given to me before. Although I was able to meet the groom's gaze and hold it without visible hesitation, I wanted to crumble. It took repeated recitations of Imperial codes and doctrines in my head in order to maintain any sense of stoicism and confidence. Despite being able to nod and maintain eye contact, the entire situation felt surreal. It was almost an out-of-body experience. I assumed there was some form of spirituality that I managed to assimilate to, and although I wanted to listen to Phi-Ton, to give him what he deserved, a proper Voss marriage, I lost track of where we were in our vows.

It was not the fact that Phi-Ton was not an appropriate mate. I knew that he deserved to marry someone who could stay with him, prosper with him, and truly make him a Voss. There was no feeling to it, though I could sense that Phi-Ton did find me attractive, for being an outsider. There was honor, but it was not the kind of honor that Phi-Ton truly deserved. I was robbing a man the pleasure of sharing the experience with someone who wanted to be standing in this spot.

"Will you embrace the traditions of your people? Will you walk with the Voss to our destiny?"

In my half-listening, I did not realize that I was being asked a question. I blinked and quickly stated, "I will walk the thousand-year path, so long as you are beside me."

My gaze fell just past Phi-Ton's shoulder, to the man standing behind him with black eyes.

"Phi-Ton, will you pledge your dreams to me? Pour your life into my cupped hands, as I will for you?"

Although I physically spoke the words to Phi-Ton, they were truly meant for him. My chest hurt again.

"I would have no other."

_Every bond you make saps your strength as an individual._

"Then we walk before the flame."

* * *

><p>The ceremony continued, with the burst of flames that signaled the newly formed bond between Phi-Ton and I. It was indeed a beautiful ceremony. The flames danced and sparked with life, an eternal flame that could only be shared between this Voss and I. Bound by a sacred ritual. Bound by an intertwining of fates. Though there was no immediate celebration, I knew that there was still more to the ceremony. Yana-Ton had explained the symbolism behind the flame, the shrine, and what I knew was now coming: the Rite of Ardor.<p>

"So long as prophecy allows, we are one. Only the word of a mystic will break our bond. May it never happen," he explained.

Phi-Ton's relatives bowed again and then left the Shrine of the Sacred flame with no further words. They knew that this discussion was private now, sacred in of itself. Vector, too, understood and began to leave with Lokin, Kaliyo, and Ensign. I caught his glance for a moment and he nodded again. Phi-Ton took my hands and kissed my cheek.

"Only the Rite of Ardor remains. For Voss, our passions are suppressed until marriage. The Rite of Ardor awakens the intensity and creates a bond between husband and wife." He paused. "Will you share this night with me?"

Phi-Ton's back faced the entryway, and I wanted to cry out when I saw Vector glance over his shoulder. I hesitated. _I can't do it. I love you. This is just for the carvings, only for that. Please. You know I don't want him like I want you. _He then continued walking away. I struggled to stay focused on the task at hand and not start wavering out of frustration. It hardly worked.

"I... Phi-Ton, I just..."

"Please, you do not need to express it. I can see it clearly." He paused and his hands fell away from mine. "You are in love with someone else, are you not?"

I hesitated. " Yes. I did this because I needed to. I'm so sorry. You sacrificed your bond for me, for my work. I stole it from you."

"No, you did not steal it from me. I took the same from you, as well."

"You deserve to have someone else fill this role. Someone who can make you happy and someone who can perform the rite with you. I can't."

_For once, I want to be with someone and mean it. I don't want to live in lies anymore._

"Your concern is appreciated, but please, do not worry. You honor my family, and that is more than enough. Even if our bond must remain platonic, I am no longer a child. I will now stand beside my uncle and will soon inherit the teahouse."

"I see."

"Our family is gathered. We will celebrate first, then walk you to the carvings in the morning. No one will deny your right to see."

"Thank you, Phi-Ton." I bowed my head, and added, "for your understanding and your family's generosity. You will serve your people well."

"Tomorrow morning, you will journey into darkness. Go to him. The Nightmare Lands may corrupt you to the point of madness. Tell him where your heart lies."

I did not need to be told twice.

* * *

><p><em>Knock. Knock. Knock.<em>

"Vector?" I asked close enough to the door in order for him to hear me from the inside of our small pair of rooms in Voss-Ka's cantina. It was the early evening now, and the cantina was busy with its regular patrons. Luckily I had managed to sneak past Temple and Kaliyo who were heavily drunk and mingling with other Voss. Doctor Lokin was with them, but certainly more preoccupied with his datapad to have noticed me. I heard some faint shuffling sounds and then watched as the door opened and Vector stood in the doorway. He wore only a beige tunic and dark green trousers instead of his regular armor.

"_Agent?_" The intonation in his voice signaled that he was surprised to see me here. "What are you doing here?"

I did not hesitate to respond, though not with words but instead an embrace. His own arms wrapped around me, tightly holding me against his body. The door shut behind me.

"I couldn't do it," I whispered in his ear, "I can't do that anymore. I don't want to fake love anymore. Not when I really feel it with someone for the first time, not when I want to share it with someone else. I have done that for too long. I don't want to be a vessel of lies anymore. I may have physically spoken those words, those vows, those oaths, to Phi-Ton, but they were meant for you."

"Yes, we know," he paused and as we slightly parted, he looked into my eyes and cupped the back of my neck. His fingers slowly trailed through my hair. "We could see it in your aura. But we understood that it was necessary, though unfortunate for both you and Phi-Ton. You have our support, always."

"But I want more than your support, Vector. I want you. I want to be real for you. As necessary as the ceremony was for this mission, it was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Tomorrow is going to be just as difficult. We don't know what's in the Nightmare Lands. We don't know what we're going to find. I couldn't spend my last night in certainty in another's arms."

"We understand. We see you, Agent, your aura, and we know."

I smiled and laid my head against his chest. In the silence that followed, I could hear the distant clatter of plates, glasses, and the noise of the jukebox in the cantina's main room. I thought I heard what sounded like Kaliyo's laugh, and then Temple's. Maybe even Lokin's. It only made my smile widen. _I am a lucky person, to have these people by my side._

It felt wonderful to be his arms, for I knew it was safe; I could be open here without fear of being haunted by my past or by the present. Vector's presence was always calming and comforting.

"Call me by my real name, when it is just you and me. You know it now."

"Nietcha," he whispered in a long drawl, as if he were emphasizing each vowel sound.

After a few more moments, we parted and I was about to start cleaning up for bed, when he stopped me by placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Will you wait a moment, before doing that? There is something we must attend to."

I nodded and gave him a small smile. "Of course, I'll be here."

* * *

><p>It was not odd for Vector and I to sleep together, <em>literally<em> sleep together. Every chance we had, we shared a bed ever since that day on Dromund Kaas, in the X70-B Phantom, so long as it did not rouse suspicion from the others. But now something was different, though a good kind of different. I stood in the main room, looking at some biochemical research data from another project again. Of course, I was not entirely focused on inert virus samples or collected strands of fungus as much as I was curious about Vector's odd request.

I heard footsteps again and saw Vector returning from the corner of my eye. I began shutting off the data analysis program and then placed the datapad on the table. Before I could turn around, arms wrapped around my waist and a kiss was placed on my cheek.

"Vector?"

"I'm here, Nietcha," he whispered, "surprise."

I turned my head and saw his eyes. I inhaled sharply and my jaw dropped. There no longer was a black film over his eyes; no, the eyes that looked at me now were gold, they were _his_ eyes. I reached upwards and touched his cheek. My fingertips moved slowly over his cheekbones.

"Your... your eyes," I mostly stuttered out, "you have such nice eyes, Vector. It's good to see them."

"You look different without your electric aura, but just as lovely." I moved so that I was fully facing him. He took one of my hands and squeezed it as the other caressed my head. "I think you look beautiful in these robes. These markings look like snow melting on your skin."

It was strange to hear him speak in the first person. His voice was much softer, lower in tone, and almost more constrained. I could hear the emotion and for once could clearly see it translated into an expression on his face. I rubbed my cheek against his.

"The Aebea nest taught me to repress the pheromonic bond," he whispered in turn, "I can hold it for a little while."

We each turned our heads and kissed, and even this felt different. It was far more intimate knowing that I was solely with him and him alone, and I was touched to know that he would seek this kind of knowledge, just for me. Although I was in love with a man who was also a joiner, I did not want his efforts to go to waste. I loved Vector − all of him, just as he cared for all of me.

Our kiss became much more inflamed and passionate in the passing seconds, and my hands found his hair, his cheek, his shoulders, his chest. I knew I wanted to share my bed with him for more than just sleeping, this night. As erotic as being with Vector and watching him savor my body at a hypersensitive level would be, it was not the time nor the place. I needed him and wanted something more gentle and close. The future frightened me more than ever now. I knew that it would only become more difficult from here on out.

We parted for a few moments and he said, "This is a time for us to be together, one you needn't share with the Oroboro or the Colony."

"Thank you. I appreciate you doing this for me. It's very kind of you. I know how much the bond with the Colony means to you."

"My bond with you, Nietcha, means just as much. I love you."

I smiled, "I love you too, Vector."

I took his hand and pulled him towards our bed. I sat down and wrapped my arms around his neck. He cupped my neck and kissed me again. "I have a feeling you will like the rest of the markings Yana-Ton drew on my body."

He began removing the layers of the robe, slowly revealing each piece of my flesh.

"We have hours until morning." I told him. I fell back against the bed, with my hands tangled in his hair, his lips against mine, and his hands trailing over the markings as they were exposed. "The future can wait. I want to be here in the present, with you and only you."

And I did not have to say anything else.


	18. Entry Eighteen, Corellia

_**Author's Note:** Yeah, I'm still alive._

* * *

><p><strong>Corellia<strong>

I've lost count of the days. If you asked me what has happened over the past several months, I would only say one word: war. That's what this is now. It's a war now. Corellia's streets are the battleground. I'm not surprised at all; if anything, just disheartened. The galaxy will certainly fall into chaos after this, if it hasn't already. It's no longer a Cold War. It's a hot, boiling war that I know will drag on for years. No form of diplomacy can stop it now. Corellia is the new Coruscant, not that Coruscant needed to be one-upped.

Imperial Intelligence has been dissolved. It fell apart because of the Star Cabal, because of the war on Corellia, and because of a conflict between the Sith and Intelligence. The minister's hands are tied. Though, it's not like he ever openly expressed discontent against Sith rule. Perhaps he did in his youth, in his early days with Intelligence, much like myself. I opposed Darth Jadus and suffered the consequences over a year and a half ago, to the point where I was nearly killed by the Sith and ultimately brainwashed for a span of several months.

They took Kaliyo away from me. They took my snarky, self-centered, lying friend away from me. They took away my _best_ friend. I know that sounds horribly pathetic, given her track record, but I would like to think the good outweighed the bad in terms of our relationship. She was- I have to think in terms of the present- no, is, going to be rescued. Vector, Lokin, and I (the ground team on Corellia), are going to get her back. We have to. She's our comrad, she's our friend, we don't leave our comrades behind, our friends behind, whether we are Imperial or not, she's our...

We only have a small reprieve before we have to leave for our strike against the Republic. I'm serving on the front lines (sort of). I stand a few meters behind the true front line, of course, but I'm there, seeing battle in a way I've never seen it before. I would say that my training prepared me for it, but I would be lying. I'm used to deception and underhanded, behind the scenes warfare - not direct, violent, bloody warfare. Granted, it's all bloody and violent. But at least when you're assassinating a target, you're sitting on top of a roof looking through a sniper rifle's lens and taking a shot and walking away. This is different. There is a sense of adrenaline, a driving force that keeps your feet planted despite the chaos of it all, but it's different. It's all different.

You could say that I've developed a few more "battle scars." Just the usual. A few nicks from a vibro-blade here, a few blaster-fire burns there, a couple of sprained muscles. There have been a few close calls. But, whatever I receive, the Republic soldiers get ten-fold. Although it appears to be evenly matched at first, you can tell that they are falling out of line, their soldiers. At least with the Empire, the Sith holds the puppet strings tightly. You're either killed by the Republic or the Sith, and I think any average, half-intelligent soldier knows better nowadays than to confront the orders of a Sith. I learned that the hard way. The risk are too great now to defy the Sith. So, it's a morale booster to a degree.

Raina and I were talking once about Imperial Intelligence over a cup of caf on the X-70B Phantom several months ago, just after my mission on Belsavis. She asked me why I joined Intelligence. I told her it was my only option, but we both knew that was a weak answer. It's honestly because I don't have a clear answer. I don't know why. To say I wanted to help people, civilians, is a joke in of itself, because one cannot exactly help others with a rifle. Intelligence work isn't and will never be the work of a guardian of the people. Guardian of dirty secrets, but not of the people. Maybe there really isn't an answer.

On another note, I have been contacted repeatedly by a masked individual claiming to want to help me. I have my own theories about who this mysterious character is, and stars forbid it be Watcher X (because I think my mind would simply just collapse in upon itself like a damned black hole if this somehow, someway were the case). Of course, this of itself is dangerous. I can't risk losing the rest of my team.

Anyways, I ought to get some sleep. I've probably kept Vector up long enough with the light from my datapad lighting up our small room (then again, he does know how to put himself into _quite_ the meditative trance...).


End file.
